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Monday, November 10, 2008

Ricky Ponting is Sarah Palin in disguise

Palin didn’t know Africa was a continent.

Ponting dint know a test was on the line.

Palin continuously went ‘rogue’ on the McCain campaign

Ponting continuously goes ‘rogue’ on his team.

Palin likes to spend money.

Ponting likes to save money.

Palin comes from a state with 3 electoral votes that no body cares about.

Ponting comes from a state that no body in Australian care about. (In fact he’s only in because of the Tassie Quota)

There were reports that McCain wanted to ‘bump off’ Palin.

There are reports that certain Australian cricket bloggers want to ‘off’ Ponting.

Sarah was slow on the uptake.

Ricky is slow with the over rates.

Palin was featured in Porno. True Story. (Try Nalin Palin on Google).

Ponting was not. (For which we are forever grateful to the Porn Industry).

Palin was a Maverick.

Ricky Ponting is, well Ricky Ponting.

Some say Ricky has fits of retardedness on the field.

Sarah Palin IS clinically retarded.

These are the bare facts. Make of it what you will.
Brought to you by the FlySlip, hatching conspiracies where there are none.


Sunday, November 9, 2008

Another day at SLC Junior High...

Yesterday at around noon, Mahela and Kumar Sagakkara become victims of another vicious attack by the play ground bullies. The bullies threw their toys on the floor and chucked their lunches into the sandbox.

Mahela and Kumar had been so looking forward to their chicken sandwiches but had to go home in tears.

When the PTA meeting was called to find out why these two are being bullied so much, Mahelas rich dad and mommy showed up in raging anger.

They asked the rest of the parents "Why are you abusing our son ? Just because he is the captain of the cricket team it does not mean you can bully him like this.

He is a very sensitive boy and his feelings have been deeply hurt."

When a heckler made a comment about the size of Mahelas eyebrows, Mahela started weeping and cried out for his mother.

At this point, Kumar's father stepped in "Listen here, I am Kumars father and I am a very important man and I know more big words than Kumar, so you will listen to what I say.

Our boys just want to play cricket for their country in a peaceful manner. Why are you sending them bouncer after bouncer like this. It is wrong..". As his voice got groggy and eyes started to well up, his wife put a loving arm around him and his son and asked who ever it was to own up.

It was then that Rex's dad stood up.

"Ok fine, it was my son. But you know why no body likes your son?

You say he is the captain of our team but we found out he has been secretly playing for the team across the road"

"Has he no sense of loyalty or does he only care about maximising his profit making opportunities". said Rex's dad.

"My son bullied your son and I'm proud of it.". Rex stood up at this point, beaming.

The rest of the parents yelled "Amen to that !!".

Kumar and Mahela clung to each other, sobbing uncontrollably, snot and drool wetting their tight fitted t-shirts.

"Please just leave us alone...we just want to play cricket....sob...we only wanted to make some that so wrong..sob..sob...".

"It was Arjuna who told us we could play for the other team".

It was then that, Jabba the hut, Arjuna's dad, said "My son said no such thing ! How dare you little rich rascals accuse my son !"

Someone throws a chair at Jabba the hut, which bounces off his belly and hits Rex square in the face. Who throws a rotten tomato at Kumar and Mahela.

A fight break out...

Thus ends another day at SLC Junior High.

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Saturday, November 8, 2008

A Canadian leads the Aussies, Tyron Henderson and the weird shindig in HongKong

Since there is absolutely nothing to report on the Sri Lankans of late lets have a look at whats happening in Hong Kong.

Its that time of the year again, teams of 6, 5 overs per team. YES Its the Hongkong Sixes BABY!

Oooo the excitement !! Settle down !!

Actually the Lankan lads are the defending champions. We managed to beat the All starts last year led by Warney.

This year the All stars look a little something like this
Stephen Fleming (Captain)
Shiv Chanderpaul
Tyron Henderson
Mathew Hoggard
Sanath Jayasariya
Justin Langer
Chaminda Vass

I know what your thinking. Justin Langer ? In a 6s team ?

And who in the hell is Tyron Henderson ?

Don't you need to have played some sort of international cricket to qualify for this. It seems like who ever picked this team just closed their eyes and picked some names out of a hat.

You know what we say to that. We say Boo!

Bring back Warney or Lara I say. Hell even Mick Lewis woulda been cool.

And whats this, a Canadian is leading the Aussies ? Only in 6s cricket !

You gotta love it.

For more weird team news go here

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Thursday, November 6, 2008

Australia v India, 4th Test Preview

And so the series that promised so much, yet delivered so little comes to an end.

So far the series has been like an old engine that refuses to start, its made some funny noises, promised to kick start but just dies on you in the end.

We now head to Nagpur, the equation is simple. Australia need to win to retain the trophy and India need at least a draw to wrest it back from the Aussies.

Who would have thought that after this performance by Jason Kreza, he would have ever been contention for test debut.

But he is. Which goes to show the trouble the Aussies are having in finding a spinner or rather any bowler who can help them get 20 wickets.

The Aussies have a belief that Indians play off spin worse than leg spin. It may be based on the legendary Splendid Mendis's heroics in Sri Lanka but it would quite the push to claim that Krejza can kick it up Mendis style

Batting- Strong
As the series has gone on the Aussie batters have stepped up to the mark. Barring the 2nd test flop, the top order have been in the runs. More is expected and with Haydens return to form things are looking peachy.

Bowling- Can they get 20 wickets?
Its a good question. Australia have only collected 37 of the 60 wickets on offer in the first 3 tests. The lack of variation in the bowling was telling in Delhi. Micheal Clarke and Simon Katich offer some respite for the fast men but they have proved to be quite ineffective thus far.

Can Krejza make a difference ? It is unlikely. The only positive that the Australians can take from Delhi with regards to their bowlers was that Brett Lee seemed to have found his rhythm.

Gambir's ban for this test may just offer them a chance to get the early breakthrough that has eluded them.


New captain. New opener.

Although the latter would the lesser of their worries.

Needing only a draw to seal the series the Indians may opt to sit back and see how the game progresses.

Batting- Gambir absent.
But will it cost India. Murali Vijay comes into the team on the back of double hundred in domestic cricket but he will be under a different kind of pressure all together in a whole new ball game.

Needing a win to square the series and retain the trophy the 'Stralians will come hard at the new guy. This major glitch in the batting line up may just offer the opening the Aussies have been looking for to get in to the middle order.

And with Dravid struggling and Sehwag being inconsistent, the top 3 look dodgy for India.

The rest of the batting line up is solid. It will also be Gangulys last test. So be sure to keep a close eye on him.

If not dangerous. Ishant and Zaid have been consistent through out the series and if Harbajan is fit the Indians will have a strong bowling line up that could propel them to a win in Nagpur.

Mishra was below par in Delhi and it will be good to watch him ply his trade on another helpful surface.

Leadership- Its all about Dhoni.
India are an entirely different team under Dhoni and it was no surprise that the test they won was under him.

Dhoni is the man everyone wants a pat on the back from and to be on the good books with.

He is definitely a better captain than Ponting and may just be the difference between the teams.

Prediction- I love the underdog

Its not often that the Australians are the underdog in test cricket. But times have changed and here we are. I love the underdog so I'm gonna stick my head out and say an Aussie win.

It will be made tough cuz India will play 7 batsmen and look for the stalemate. But if Lee and the quicks get past the openers and Krejza somehow pulls something out of the bag we could be in for a treat.

Go the underdog !

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Wednesday, November 5, 2008


Kumble had bowled 6 overs on the fourth morning without taking a wicket. Pakistan had been set an improbable 420 to win and only needed a draw to secure the series. At 101 for no loss they were well on their way.

After lunch Anil Kumble bowled 20.3 overs from the Pavillion End and ended up taking all 10 for 47. When Saeed Anwar went, Pakistan had collapsed to 128-6.

"That's when I thought all ten was possible for the first time" said Kumble afterwards.

Kumble was carried off the field by his team mates as the crowd rejoiced. "We had won, was my first reaction.

No one dream of taking 10 wickets because you cant."

Wisden, on undoubtedly Anils greatest day on the cricket field.

Anil Kumble was a complicated yet simple man. He was a cricketing intellectual. In 1990 he arrived, bespectacled, armed with an Mechanical Engineering degree and a deep mind.

Perhaps it was this background that led him to take up arguably the most intellectually challenging of all bowling forms.

Perhaps it was his methodical mind that influenced the very nature of how he bowled. It bred on patience and accuracy. Rinse and repeat.

He was a nerd, but a cool nerd who played cricket and was fucking good at it.

He was a leg spinner, but not quite.

He dint flight the ball, he dint drift the ball.

Hell 90% of the time he dint even spin the ball. Yet he ended up with a colossal amount of wickets.

Captained India.

And leaves the game as one the most respected to have ever played it.

During the mid 90s, leg spin was well and truly alive. While Warne and Mushy were spinning their into the history books, Anil just went about his business.

Day in day out.

Bowling line and length, getting it to nip a just that tad, which is all you ever need to get a wicket.

His longevity was underlined by the fact that he outlasted both Warne and Mushy in the end.

Anil was a giant of a man. He was the very definition of playing for your team. Never hunting personal accolades, whether he batted or bowled his commitment to India was unwavering.

If you asked him to he would bowl till his arm came off. Which he did.

Which is why he leaves us now see. He cant bowl anymore. If he could he would. Age caught up with him in the end. And that was the only way anyone was ever going to stop Anil.

His way or no way.

To me personally, Anils retirement does not only end a great cricketing career for India but it also closes a great chapter in crickets history. The last of the 3 great leg spinners of the modern era have performed their last trick.

There will be no encore.

There will be no one last hurrah.

Unless you count the IPL. (Which I'm sure you don't)

Cricket will miss you Anil.

India will miss you.

I know I will.


Adam Gilchrist vomits "horse crap"

Adam Gilchrist was a fine cricketer.

A cricketer for whom I had a lot of respect. But by showing his 'true colors' lately he is fast becoming a bit of a moronic asswipe.

First he had a dig at Sachin, but then he forgot that Indians are cricket crazy and his book would probably sell well there. So he sorted that out in quick time.

Now he's come out and labeled Murali a chucker. And apparently the ICC bent their laws so that Murali could bowl in international cricket.

The law was changed because half the people bowling in international cricket violated the existing law at the time. Under that law, Mcgrath, Pollock etc all chucked.

Maybe Gilchrist dint pass his science test in school or maybe he wasn't too good with the maths to go too deeply into such matters to understand what exactly happened.

Gilchrist goes on to say that Murali was protected by "Political influence". Maybe he dint even pass his geography cuz mate we are not India. We are whole separate country. With our own flag and everything.

There was NO political influence. The ICC launched an investigation and Murali was tested in AUSTRALIA and they them selves cleared him. In fact it was the Uni of WA who cleared him. Maybe some resentment from Gilly not getting a certain acceptance letter.

If anyone at all cares, the law of the 10 degree limit was extended to 15 degree because it is only at this threshold that the human eye can actually detect any flex in the arm.

But to me the final straw is him stating that allowing Murali to bowl was against "the spirit of the game".

For someone who 'seemed' to uphold this very same spirit during his playing days it is amazing how quickly he seems to have forgotten it after he stopped.

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Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Whats the point ?

Heading into Zimbabwe is always interesting because you never know quite know what to expect.

Other than the fact that Sri Lanka is going to offer them a complete thrashing.

I’m not ashamed to say that I don’t know half the team that will take the field for the ODI series from the Zimbabwe. I lost interest in Zimbabwean cricket ever since Andy Flower left and the mass exodus in 2004.

That Zimbabwe had some grit about them. Led by Andy and Heath Streak, the batting was solid and the bowling was effective. Since then the Zimbabweans have been fielding 2nd string teams.

Which makes me wonder what the point of this series is. England would rather cancel the Sri Lankan tour in 2009 rather than face a 2nd string Sri Lankan XI.

Why must should we expect less from Zimbabwe. Or better yet, Why must we play them in the first place.

Sean Williams just pulled out to play cricket in South Africa, Brendon Taylor opted for Australia. Tatenda Taibu is in some court facing assault charges, oh hello? Tiny Taibu in an assault case?

The man assaulted apparently said “You should see the other guy”

This series going to be an absolute farce.

The only reason I am remotely interested in this series is because, couple of the young cubs I predicted big things for here, are going be playing.

Even the Sri Lankans are not taking this seriously, Jayasuriya will be just across the border, playing for the Dolphins, then he will hop on a plane to Hong Kong, to play in the 6s.

Which by the way promises to be more interesting as Sri Lanka are the defending champions.

However, for some unknown reason, they have sent King Sanga and Murali

Probably to ensure the annihilation will be as swift as possible.

Zimbabwe haven’t won a game against SL since 2004, I don’t expect this to change anytime soon.

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