Whats the point ?

Heading into Zimbabwe is always interesting because you never know quite know what to expect.

Other than the fact that Sri Lanka is going to offer them a complete thrashing.

I’m not ashamed to say that I don’t know half the team that will take the field for the ODI series from the Zimbabwe. I lost interest in Zimbabwean cricket ever since Andy Flower left and the mass exodus in 2004.

That Zimbabwe had some grit about them. Led by Andy and Heath Streak, the batting was solid and the bowling was effective. Since then the Zimbabweans have been fielding 2nd string teams.

Which makes me wonder what the point of this series is. England would rather cancel the Sri Lankan tour in 2009 rather than face a 2nd string Sri Lankan XI.

Why must should we expect less from Zimbabwe. Or better yet, Why must we play them in the first place.

Sean Williams just pulled out to play cricket in South Africa, Brendon Taylor opted for Australia. Tatenda Taibu is in some court facing assault charges, oh hello? Tiny Taibu in an assault case?

The man assaulted apparently said “You should see the other guy”

This series going to be an absolute farce.

The only reason I am remotely interested in this series is because, couple of the young cubs I predicted big things for here, are going be playing.

Even the Sri Lankans are not taking this seriously, Jayasuriya will be just across the border, playing for the Dolphins, then he will hop on a plane to Hong Kong, to play in the 6s.

Which by the way promises to be more interesting as Sri Lanka are the defending champions.

However, for some unknown reason, they have sent King Sanga and Murali

Probably to ensure the annihilation will be as swift as possible.

Zimbabwe haven’t won a game against SL since 2004, I don’t expect this to change anytime soon.

Arjuna vs The Cricketing Mafia

Lets look at some facts

-SLC is running at a 600mil rupee bank over draft

-SLC sets up a potentially money earning series with England and the ECB for May 2009 to help in their financial troubles

-Which clashed with the IPL also set for May 2009, meaning most of the big names from SL would miss the 2nd IPL season

The ‘Players picking IPL over country’ debate begin

-Lalit Modi and BCCI have were going to have none of this and set up a 70mil dollar deal for the SLC, over ten years for letting the SL players take part in the IPL and the Champions League.

-Arjuna meanwhile goes on a trigger happy crusade against the IPL 2020, calling it nothing more than ‘instant noodles’- which we must all agree is one of the best analogies ever made.

-Arjuna then goes on to blame the IPL 2020 for India losing the test series in SL.

BCCI and Lalit Modi start to dislike Arjuna

-ECB’s David Morgan says SLC’s agreement with the BCCI over the 70mil is ‘unacceptable’ stating the ICC reaffirmed that Test Cricket was to be the number 1 priority for the boards.

-Arjuna says the English test series will go ahead.

-And then does the unthinkable and lifts the ban on ICL players playing domestic cricket in SL.

BCCI and Modis dislike Arjuna even more.

-Modi and BCCI say the deal will not go ahead if Arjuna is around.

-Threatens to cut bi-lateral ties with SL.

-Hints it can “buy off” any Sri Lankan player if it wants to.


Dead Lock.


The message is clear. India control the money and they have the power. They are kinda like the mafia of cricket right now. Threatening to bump off or buy off anyone who dares to go against them. Their reach is growing and its all about muscling out who ever they want to, to make as much money as possible.

India’s reputation of threatening to cut ties, boycott series and tours is growing. They exercised this power in Australia- Got their way.

They are doing the same with lowly SLC- surely they will win this time as well.

Arjuna is caught in the middle. He needs to make money for the SLC. Please the ECB, Please the BCCI and the IPL and his players all at the same time. That will never happen.

We argue a lot over the fact that cricket is only about the money these days. In this case- it HAS to be about the money. SLC needs money and its quite obvious that the most amount of money will flow from the IPL and the BCCI at the moment.

When Arjuna came into power I thought it would be a good thing. He always spoke about how the game in SL needs to improve to play with the big teams around the world. He seemed to have a vision.

But somewhere between his triple upsized breakfasts and predicting India will win the 2007 WC, he seems to have lost his mind.

The IPL and the BCCI don’t care about cricket, they care about Break Even points and balance sheets and we are nothing but a small country in Political turmoil and financial crisis. When big brother offers a hand this big I think we ought to take it.

The England series was never in the schedule. Arjuna dug him self a hole by hastily arranging it. And although I was ecstatic that we would tour England again and annoyed that players seemed to be picking the IPL over the country on hindsight you have to try and see the bigger picture.

The big picture is that the IPL will give the SLC more money over a longer period of time than one test series in England ever could. What Arjuna should have done instead of shooting his potty mouth is to have initiated discussions with the BCCI and IPL regarding the participation fees he claims the SLC never got.


And SLC needs money.

Its strange because ONLY the SLC have publicly announced that they did not get any fee. Were the other boards given this money and SLC ignored ?

Arjuna is not a business minded man, he has a big ego and does not enjoy anyone going against him. He is revered in SL cricketing circles because of what he achieved as a player. And he enjoys using that power to get his way to the front of the buffet line- so to speak.

But he is clearly not the man to lead the SLC, he runs his mouth which makes the board and the country look bad.

If I were Arjuna I would step down , because that would be in the interest of cricket in Sri Lanka. It is however unlikely and as long as he heads the board Sri Lankan cricket will be in turmoil in one way or the other.

Host Monty and win 500 quid !

Yes, that’s right. Bloomfield CC in Sri Lanka are going to be awarded 500 pounds for hosting Monty for a month.

Which is roughly around 90,000 rupees. Quite a nifty amount, but the club is currently feeling indifferent about it.

I'm not too sure what the fuss is about. 500 pounds equates to about 90 000 rupees back home. Which is roughly the amount an employee of a few years experience makes in Sri Lanka for a month.

Bloomfield are miffed as to why the ECB wont pay them the 7500 pounds they had asked for.

Are you fucking kidding me?

That is roughly around 1.4 mil rupees, which can support an entire squad of 15 for a month at 90k rupees a player.

The ECB are never going to pay so much to host Monty. Bloomfield ‘claim’ that they will need to replace their captain Shanuka Dissanayake for Monty.

Ironically Shanuka might actually be a better bowler than Monty. He clicks in at 21 per wicket vs Monty’s 31.
So Shanuka is good, but not 7500 pounds good.

Bloomfield can count themselves lucky if the ECB still goes ahead with the revised 1000 quid they are now offering.

If I were them Id take the money and start mixing a welcome drink for Monty.

The Two Tier System- A review

A year ago we saw the birth of the much debated Premier league tournament. The gist of the structure was that a two- tier system was to be implemented, with the last team in tier A are relegated to the lower tier B and the winner of tier B gets promoted to compete with the creme de le creme of Sri Lankan club cricket.

The league which split up the 20 clubs that currently play cricket in Sri Lanka, was devised to increase the competition between the clubs. Thus ensuring that the standard of the game increased, the gap between club and the intense international game was narrowed and Sri Lanka were well on their way to world domination.

But is it really working?

Last year Tier A was won by unquestionably the dynasty of Sri Lankan club cricket, SSC. There was stiff competition from Moors and Tamil Union but SSC prevailed to win a memorable treble. All the headlines naturally focus on Tier A as most of the best cricketers in the country are playing in that particular league.

In much of the same as Div 2 in the English county game, no one, except the teams playing in the lower league, actually care about the Tier B. Performances are often scuffed upon due to allegations and perceptions of a lower grade of cricket being played.

So then is it fair that only 1 team from the Tier B gets the chance to show their wares in Tier A every year?

Current Tier B champions, Sri Lanka Army, will definitely be upsetting the comfortably numb balance in Tier A this year. They won more games than SSC , they had more points than SSC and looking a major title challenger this year. Led by spin duo, Ajantha Mendis and Seekkuge Prasanna, the Armys strong point is in their bowling. Sadly now it seems that Mendis might miss most of the season due to international engagement. One thing is for certain, the Army boys will be chomping at the bit to have a go at their more prestigious colleagues.

What of the Panadura lads, who pipped at as a healthy runner up in Tier B. Once again with more points than Tier A no2, Moors. It seems almost unfair that a team that did not loose a game the whole season, who have out gunned, at least in terms of points their counter parts in Tier A, and clearly a better side than some of the teams hanging on in Tier A at the bottom, do not get a their chance.

Teams like Bloomfield, Ragama, Nondescript won less games than Panadura yet remain safely in Tier A, and more importantly within the peripheral vision of the selectors. It would come as no surprise that NON of the centrally contracted players for Sri Lanka come from a team outside Tier A. Mendis doesn’t have a central contract as yet. Once he does he might make a move to one of the Tier A teams in case he is forgotten.

So what does it all mean ?

Simple, more teams from Tier B need to get into Tier A.

Will they survive in the deep end? Maybe not.

Do they deserve their shot ? Sure as hell they do. Without a question.

Ideally at least 2 teams should get relegated or promoted. Maybe even 3 with a play off scenario. That is to say the 3^rd and 4^th from bottom in Tier A enter a end of season play off. The loser gets relegated. Winner stays on.

Similarly the 3^rd and 4^th teams in Tier B enter a play off. I suspect you can do the math from there.

This would ensure that Tier B teams would get a prime opportunity to engage in some real cricket, that people and selectors care about. The standard of Tier A will improve. The gap we talked about earlier will reduce.

Break open the champagne

They've done it !

Flyslip reported it first.

The cubs have become the first team to win a series in South Africa.

Lets bask in the glory.

A great day indeed.

Report to follow.

Cubs to the slaughter

So the cubs are in the rainbow land.

Doing swimmingly in fact. They are all set to achieve something so monumental today, that I must forewarn you to sit down.

Its big.

If the cubs win today, looking at their performances so far it could prove to be quite tight, it will the first time a Sri Lankan team has won a series in South Africa.

Brilliant isnt it. Murali, Sanath, Sagakkara, Mahela all tried. And failed.
But not the cubs.

At least not yet.

They currently posses a hard fought lead of 2-1 in the series and tonight they play the 4th Unofficial ODI. Its a day nighter as well. So, much chance for drama.

The first match was won by the cubs by a mere 3 runs at a venue that if you successfully pronounce in the first try, will win you a prize.

Try it - Potchefstroom.
Sorry that is in correct. No prizes for you.

The 3 young rising stars of Sri Lankan batting once again proved their worth as Kandamby, Anjelo Matthews and FlySlips very own Ambul (already a risen but since fallen star) scored 50s.

The cubs ended with 276 thanks to their efforts and took the field later in the day to be faced by the Saffer duo of Imraan Khan (that ain't no typo and not to be confused with the legendary mystero from Pakistan) and Heino Gunther Kuhn (Potential split personality Ala Gunter Nel if ever there was one).

After a steady start the Don sprung into action!
That's Don Ishan Amarasinghe to you sir.

With venom that only a recent national discard possesses Ishan triggered a mini collapse and had the South Africans at 129-4. The cubs seemed well on the way to a win.

However some later order resistance needed Ishan to come back and finish the game off. 7 needed in the last over with 2 wickets remaining he managed to get wickets with the 1st and 5th ball of the over to earn SL A a win by 3 runs.

1-0

The 2nd game played at an equally difficult venue to pronounce (Try Peitermaritzburg) saw another closely contested game. Sri Lanka were restricted to a mere 218 and once again Angelo Mathews (53), Kandamby (51) and Kaushal Silva(80) impressed.

The game seemed to be heading for a tight ending with the Saffers losing wickets on a regular basis and at 129-4 it seemed to be any ones game. But Dean Elgars 89* saved face for the home. team

The Don once again pipped in with a 2fer.

1-1

Sanity resumed as finally a game was played at a relatively mundane venue name.

Although Buffalo Park..


Ambul, it seems is hell bent on not giving me more material for the Ambul Thiyal-Anga series as he cut,drove, hooked, hoicked, switch hit his way to a career best 173.

He and Paranavithana added 91 for the first wicket and the cubs rode on Ambuls knock to 335. Kandamby lent in with another solid 30.(Why is he still playing for the cubs again ?).

It was a day for the openers as Saffer opener Bodi belted the cubs into a hiding as he unleashed a devastating assault on our opening bowlers.

So it seemed inevitable that the Don make an appearance again along with side kick Ranga Herath as they cleverly dismissed the batsmen at the other end while ensuring Bodi got enough 4 balls to keep the crowd pleased at the other end.

The Don ending up with a 3fer.

Bodi ended up with 153, to which he got with a 6 off Herath, who later dismissed him to bask in sweet revenge.

The RRR shot up and the saffers faltered. Cubs win by 26

2-1

Watch this space to see if the Cubs make history.
Good luck to them !

Banditown vs BigGay

I hate Gamini BigGay.

The fucker has gotten too involved in our cricket and now it seems he’s the guy running the show.

Why bother with Banditown?

Why bother with selectors?

BigGay knows best.

Has he ever lifted a bat in his hand other than his own?

He changes teams that have already been picked.

He overrules decisions that Banditown makes.

Bandi and Banditown must be pissed as. I know I am. Fuck this.

When he first took office he said he wont meddle with cricket. Now it seems all he does is that. Doesn’t Sri Lanka play any other sports for this idiot to get involved in. Netball? Football ? Anything!?

Bandi should sit on Mr.BigGay so that he suffocates to death.

Hair, the long and short of it

What is a haircut? Simply somethin to keep your hair in place or a fashion statement? Well for cricketers today...its a major fashion statement. If you've failed to notice all the bleach that is found in people's hair these days...well then you must be enjoyin that rock you're livin under! The originality and confidence to hav haircuts like these should be applauded but are they really benefiting anyone?

Take Lasith Malinga. Probably one of the best fast bowlers in the world...but is the long curly hair with the blonde highlights really necessary? Im sure everyone agrees its hardly practical for bowling...you go in to bowl the ball and whats the first thing you see...yep BLONDE right in front of your face...but how can he be the one of the best bowlers in the world if he can't even see where he's bowling? Your guess is as good as mine. Malinga has had his range of blondes as well...we've had our sandy blonde and our bleach blonde...and yet he jus can't let go of the blonde! Yet with this hair...he has managed to be named sexiest cricketer in the world cup...i guess that whole tall, dark and handsome thing is a bit overdone :P...

Another crazy long haired fast bowler is Ishant Sharma. Unmistakely a fantastic bowler at 19 but is the long hair really doin him any favours? You've got to admit that his hairstyle is hardly a fashion statement...more of a disaster...especially when bowling in the sub continent!...isn't the practical use of the long hair to keep your neck warm...well you're burnin up as hell in the sub continent as it is...its hardly helpin the man! When asked bout his hair he said "I started sporting long hair as a style statement, but now I am really superstitious about my hair. I am not going in for short hair ever!" A style statement?!...really ishant...are you sure?! :P...

Next up Kevin Pietersen. Even before i liked cricket...i knew bout KP's hair style...well maybe thats jus the fact we all adore him in england...but really talk bout a fashion statement! Although i could never understand how he came up with it...he looks in the mirror one day...sees perfect dark brown hair...and thinks "you kno what will look good...a blonde strip"...ye well maybe he wanted to distract the bowlers. The "dead skunk" look as it has been described took the world by storm...every KP lover was after the strip and maybe jus maybe it improved their batting. But yet even though this hairstyle was random as hell...it jus made him look better and more attractive! So maybe a bit of blonde does go a long way :P...

Last example is Mahendra Singh Dhoni. The man's hairstyle has changed the indian lives forever...every boy who loved cricket wanted the "Dhoni" much like the kids in england want the latest "Beckham". His long hair was seen as a good luck charm to the world over...but then why cut it?...In my personal opinion...either way he looks gorgeous...but the discussion of why he cut his hair has been contemplated in india for a long time. Some stories state that he cut his hair because he wanted to look like his favourite actor John Abraham...whereas other sources say that he was in love with Deepika Padukone and she asked him to cut it!...well you decide...do you think dhoni would cut his hair for a girl?!...ye well i don't...he has enough girls after him as it is :P...

But really...could hair actually be a good luck charm?...these are the questions we can never answer...but it doesn't stop our cricketers from tryin :)!

Trouble in Banditown

Enter Banditunga.

Whats Bandi gone and done now then. SLC , which will from now on be referred to as Banditown, has lifted the ban imposed on the ICL players, allowing them to take part in domestic competitions that not too many really care about.

Or in laymans terms Bandi has gone and stuck his fat finger up the rich boys arse.

Im fully behind him, as much as anyone could be of someone who is gonna have rather a smelly finger right now.

First of all banning ICL players from international cricket was nothing but a big power play by the big bully who doesn’t like share his toys with the rest of the world. How odd when it’s the IPL who stole the ICL idea in the first place. There’s irony for you.

Second of all…..ok so there isn’t really a second of all to this story. The gist of it is that Ranatunga has mildly upset the balance of the force by daring to poke his Bandi where it does not belong. As with all Bandi’s actions it was Bandi before thinking.

Banditown, catchy aint it, has very close ties with the rich boys club up north. It’s a well known fact that when lads get together for a drink and a kick about in between discussing whether Zimbabwe should still play cricket or whether Bangladeshi’s should sent to Mars for taking the game to new lows, Banditown and the rich boys always stick it out together.

And when Bandi needed some short change for a Briyani from the local ‘hotel’ he asked his rich friends for some kitty.

In short, they are tight as. Rather they were.

The rich boys have woken from their slumber , fresh from putting one over England and they are not happy.

Which brings me to my point, yes there was a reason why I wrote all this.

However noble Ranatungas actions are, I cannot help but wonder if this would alienate Banditown , specially since virtually no one else supported their move except media darling Atappattu.

Could all this affect the relationship between the boards up to a point where India will no longer consider us in their good books. The early signs are not good.

And it seems people outside Banditown have also started taking an interest in the matter.

Its interesting to note at this point that India and Sri Lanka have close political ties as well, so perhaps its not so surprising that the sports minister is once again stepped into where he is not wanted to publish his opinion on the matter.

The good minister went on to state that

"I don't want our board to be against the BCCI and the ICC. I want us to be loved by all because we are nice island people with a smile on our face all the time”

Meanwhile there are rumors abound that either Uncle Lalit (head of IPL) or Bandi2 (Pawar) had called Sri Lankan president Mahinda Rajapakse to arrange for a meeting between Banditown and Co and the sports minister. Apparently a new election for the board might also be on the cards.

So the bottom line it seems is that the bans that were lifted might now be re-imposed on the poor ‘rebels’ in the hopes of being loved by the rich boy club again.

Lifes a bitch for people like Atapattu.

Happy times are short for these rebels

Ps-Bandi=Bigbelly

A Sri Lankan Selectors Hand book

With all the talk of the Muppets and jokers one wonders what kind of pressure a Sri Lankan selector is under when he signs up for the job. How do his interviews go? Is there a vigorous training these guys under go or is it just on the job training where mistakes are acceptable?

Basically how does a selector (or one who wants to be one-although we are not sure why you’d want to) go about their job.

So to help our budding selector wanna-be’s we have come up with the essential hand book for a Sri Lankan selector.

1.Before applying for the job, make sure you are someone with absolutely no cricket background. In the unfortunate event of you having some cricketing knowledge and know how-lie about it, or at the very worst make sure its at a very minimum.

If you are currently playing cricket-quit now if you want to pursue being a selector

2.It is essential that you know the political situation in Sri Lanka and especially important is knowledge on who is on whose payroll (Without this you are basically a batsmen with out a bat.).

3.Know your Player stats- No, not the runs or wickets he has taken- rather their family name i.e. who are their fathers (or mothers) and what sort of power do they have in Sri Lankan politics and how deep are their pockets.

Where was the player born- USA/UK take priority over anyone born in Sri Lanka.

4.Know your geography- Sri Lankan geography that is. Its well established fact that players from outside of Colombo are basically useless. So any players doing well in the outstations should not even get a look in until they move to Colombo and are capable of indulging in the much higher living expenses in the capital.

If you are not aware that clubs exist outside Colombo this will be seen favorably

5.Homesickness unwelcome- If you are the sort to get homesick do not consider applying. As a selector you will be required to travel extensively around the world. What you do once you reach the touring country is your business but the board will make sure you are given enough cash to go shopping and pick up that saree or two for the wife back home.

Sometimes you will be required to actually attend tour matches but these inconveniences are rare.

6.Know your enemy- Although as a cricket selector you might naturally expect to have a carefree life its not always rosy. There are many people who will question your every move and every player you drop. Usually these enemies or nemesis comes in 3 forms

-The sports minister: He is the only one who has more power than a selector when picking a team. Dont be surprised if the good minister goes behind your back to bring back a player you have dropped. But thankfully these occasions are few and far between.

-Arjuna Ranatunga: Arjuna is a bit of a wild-card. There is absolutely no logic in the way this man behaves, which eventually means there is no knowing when he may or may not attack a selector using the media and his political influences. He will usually always doubt the system that you have set in place and will almost always doubt the player you pick. Be strong when this happens because Arjuna usually looses stamina due to his over grown belly

Disgruntled ex-Players: These guys are the real cry babies. When you drop them they will use the media to attack selectors and call them names. Disgruntled Ex-players and the sports ministers have a unique bond that can never be broken, so dont be caught off guard if they tag team you from the blind side.


E.g. include: Marvan Atappatu, Upul Chandana,Roshan Mahanama

7.Practice makes perfect: When you pick a certain player and he fails consistently over a period of time dont be disheartened. Keep picking him till he gets those once in a blue moon 50s regardless of other more consistent players.

Tip: One 50 is more than enough to secure a place of said player(s) for the next tours.

8.Talent Spotting: You will be required to know how to spot talent from the youngsters coming through the system. Pls do keep in mind that Pts 2, 3, 4 are essential when even considering a young player for selection. Failure to meet any of the said 3 pts means an automatic disqualification of the player.

Players who average 20s (Batting) and high 30s (bowling) are generally considered good international material. If a certain youngster is averaging better than this, an immediate compliance check of pts 2-4 is necessary.

Otherwise do not hesitate in picking a player with a lower average over a player who is considered good by the rest of the country.

Note: Pt 6 may (or may not) play a part in talent spotting. The enemies mentioned in pt 6 may try to distort your vision of who you think is a good player. Usually they will engage in media warfare using out-dated reasoning like comparing player averages/consistency and “form”.

9.Drop that Superstar: A time will come in your career when you need to drop a superstar player. Regardless of how much the team needs him or his record or his status and his importance to the team do not hesitate in dropping at least one superstar in your career.

Usually this decision will be reversed by the Sports minister (Refer pt 6).But that is of no concern as you will be guaranteed a “cult-following”, especially from the ever growing online Sri Lankan cricket community.

10.Chairmans word is Final: It is your responsibility to obey the instructions of the chairman or else your work permit will be terminated and no longer receive further wages.

Do exactly as the chairman orders.

Eg: If there is a fire in the SLC building and the chairman orders you not to leave the building, do not leave the building!

Usually the chairman will handle the media so PR expertise is not a pre-requisite. Also more often than not nobody will even know who you are unless someone from Pt 6 mentions your name in the media (usually Arjuna or Disgruntled player) or unless you carry out pt 9- in which case you will become The Superstar.

Special thanks to Thushal for his contributions

Mahela wins Most sensible cricketer of the Year Award

I don’t like 2020 aka 2020Benty aka HitandGiggle.

Neither does Mahela.

Ok, so he doesn’t dislike it like I do. But he doesn’t care for too much of the stuff.

In fact he just wants to play one 2020 tournament a year. Admirable in these times.

Others are chopping at the bits to play in the IPL, EPL ICL and whatever other perverted league that is bound to pop a few years down the road.

Some yobbos down under would apparently even quit international cricket to play in the blasphemes version of the game run by the BCCI and movie stars.

Which even startled the easily irritable Pidgeon.

People love money. So does Mahela. He doesn’t shy away from that. Which is good. At least he’s honest about it.

Mahelas solution is to pile up the money from the IPL, Stanford Bonanza, EPL etc into one big mother load of cash and have a winner takes all type of tourney.

Wait. We have something like that already…The thing that India won and paraded on for about year. Oh ya, the 2020 World Championship.

Of course this would mean one giant step for cricket and one gigantic step for the BCCI – i.e. working together with the ICC.

Unlikely.

Mahelas stock has gone up in my book.

The man talks sense.

5 gold stars even.