fly slip does Border and Gavaskar

Doggy style.

Scratch that.

Here ye Here ye.
The Border-Gavaskar series is coming up.In 9 days to be exact. Cricblogosphere is a buzz with activity and whole posts have been dedicated to the event. Well by golly flyslips not gonna be left out.

See, flyslip realised, through personal experience we may add, that losing your ball or balls can be painful. Excruciating even.

As anyone with some would attest. Balls are important. And losing them is not good. Not good at all.

In lieu of this-flyslip will launch a mini series entitled

BGS- Top 5 "Most likely to loose their balls"

Fly slip will go undercover and boldly go where no cricketblog has gone before, as we strive to name the top 5 players from the two camps , most likely to loose their balls.

Losing their balls in this context is not literal, of course.

And since most of the players in the series are over the age of 25 I expect a distinct lack of hits from the ECB PCs.

Watch this space. Closely

Cubs v Seth Efrica the round up

The cubs mauled the Seth Efricans

To the tune of 4-1.

That’s a complete drubbing by any ones standards.

After a very unfortunate loss in the unofficial test series the young cubs showed their class in taking out the ODI series with a comprehensive victory.

The cubs only slip up resulted in them faltering in the 2^nd test which eventually led to the series loss to the south Africans as the lads went down 1-0. It’s a safe bet to say that the A’s dominated this whole tour. Except for that one game.

The round up.

Thilina Kandamby needs to be in the Sri Lankan test and ODI teams pronto. The mans been making runs like Ferrari makes mistakes in a Grand Prix. A hell of a lot. On a consistent basis.

He piled on the misery with 391 runs in the test series at 91 with 2 centuries.

The cubs leading run scorer in the series.

And as if to prove a point in the ODIs he smashed a further 394 runs at 91 in 5 innings. 3 of those innings reaped in 50s. In the last game he buried the Saffers good and proper. Having sealed the series 3-1 in the 4^th ODI, the cubs were set 294 in the last game.

At 6-94 things weren’t looking pretty. 203 runs later- the A’s had won the game. Thilina had 128 off 125 and the South Africans were looking for a bridge to jump off. Cubs win by 4 wickets. Herath added 88 not out to the party as well.

Such was the dominance of the captain. Talk about leading from the front. If the Sri Lankan selectors, Sports ministers and Arjuna Ranatunga can get their heads out of their arses they would know this. Instead they are busy with ‘other matters’.

Kandamby doesn’t even have a central contract. While the failure-duo, Silva and Dilshan does. This a joke of epic proportions that its stopped being funny a while ago.

Tharanga Paranavitana also impressed with some big numbers 298 at 56 in the test series. He is also looking like a major prospect for the first team middle order. An overall career average of 42 doesn’t hurt either.

The dominance of the Sri Lankan batting was a highlight of the series. The cubs consistently got scores of over 300 in the test series. At one point amassing over 700. In the ODIs scores were consistently over the 250 mark. Understandably their lowest total came in the only game they lost in the ODI series at 218. The 2^nd lowest was 274.

Ambul has pressed his claim to be back in national colors. He was instrumental in getting the A’s off to good starts in all 4 of the games he played. 250 runs at 80 with a huge 100 that Hilal reported. A strike rate of over 100 did nicely as well.

Kaushal Silva and Anjelo Matthews are also ones to watch. Kaushal looks to be the illusive replacement for Sangakkara when he does hang up the boots. At 22 years of age Id argue that he still should play a few more games for the Cubs before he really gets an opportunity in the first team.

Anjelo Matthews from Colts continues his impressive display of all round skill. Chipping in with a few useful half centuries and a handful of wickets. At 21 the kids got a way to go.

The bowlers from both teams took a thrashing as the test and ODI series were dominated by the bat. However, impressive displays from The Don aka Ishan Amarasinghe did impress. His 13 wickets in the ODI series was clearly the difference between the two sides. A clear sign of his international experience being put to good use. With Malinga and Maharoof on the come back trail after injuries, Ishans fine display puts him into contention for the ODI team.

Rangana Heraths experience also helped the cubs butcher the Saffers as his spin played another important role in the middle overs in the ODIs.

Verdict

The cubs are guns. Or rather were gunnish in this tour.

No doubt.

Thilina Kandamby should get a central contract. Dilshan and Silva should be sent home to watch re runs of each of Kandambys 700 runs.

Ambul should be recalled to the ODI team.

The quicks need some work and Paddyhouse needs to develop more if he is to be the long term replacement for Vass. At 27 time is still on his side. But not for too long.

Bottom Line.

In a 5 match series with the National team the series would end 3-2.

To the cubs.

Moin the nutter gets fucked

It seems that flyslip was not the only one not amused by Moins antics.

PCB has done what any self respecting board should do. Counter sue the person for a higher price tag.

To the tune of 250mil

Flyslips loving it.

The end of an era in Test Cricket.

The next series between Australia and India will probably be the last time we see the likes of Tendulkar, Dravid, Shewag, Ganguly filling out the role of batsmen for the Indian line up. It will also be Ricky Ponting and Matthew Hayden's last test series against India and thus close a chapter of remarkable success in test cricket for Australia. With any luck, this series should prove to be a great contest to mark this magicial milestone.

Sadly, it will also be the end of quality test cricket for the foreseeable future - with a number of other players around the world also playing their last year now. Its a shame that the younger players haven't caught the imagination of the public, save Ajantha Mendis. We sit and hope that another Adam Gilchrist or another Sachin Tendulkar will come along and everything will be good in the world, but alas, we are wishing for too much. Since the famous Ws left Pakistan, the once proud cricket team has turned into a basket case of team, though not all due to the players or administrators themselves. The similar thing has happened in the West Indies, were the popularity of the sport has fallen to epic portions.

I predict that to a lesser extent, that the Australian cricket team will also find itself in a similar place. Aside from the Sri Lankan cricket team, No team has actually improved in the 3 years in real terms - Bangladesh is lucky to find 12 people who want to play for them, Zimbabwe has gone to the dogs and weasels, South Africa since 2002 has been steadily declining and the list goes on and on. Even India, which seldom matched its talent in times past, is now looking to the future and forced to replace old players with new players who seem to lack any temperament. And therein lies the problem.

Sport is a reflection of the society that partakes in it. The Romans had gladiators and Christians and lions, which was bloody - and this was accepted by society in those times. Basketball is popular in a country that has as much modesty as a drunk whore and as much humility as a heavy weight boxer - again a reflection on the American people themselves. The changes in cricket on a global level is a reaction to the changes in the attitudes of society - cricket has to remain relevant in people's lives. In this very way we see the growth of 20-20 and 50-50 cricket with a drop in test cricket patronage, which tends to reflect people's shortening attention span. Test cricket may of had its day already.

It breaks my heart to see falling standards across society, but especially in cricket. Cricket has turned from a team sport to a sport of "I". Soon cricket will become another English premier league, where the money and ego does the talking and not the loyalty to team nor country. Maybe I am stuck in 1500s still and maybe I am being completely unreasonable, but I know one thing and that is that sport is no longer for the purist. If you want purism, take up another religion.

I digress, As for this test series, It should be a great series but a very sad one. If you have opportunity to go, by all means go - because I doubt in our lifetimes we will see a collection of finer players playing test cricket again. And to God that I was wrong about the future of the Game, but the coming colours for test cricket are not good.

Moin the nutter

Remember Moin Khan?

No?

Probably because he’s is 103 or something like that.

Well neither did we, until today. Cuz Moin’s gone and sued the PCB! For 100 Million no less.

Really Moin...100 mil? Tsk Tsk..

It all points to him having run out of his match fixing money and is probably in dire need of a hip replacement and a 10^th by pass surgery.

Whats most intruiging is that whether this really needed to happen. Allegations flying back and forth in Pakistan is as common as cow dung on the roads of India. Very.

Couldn’t he just fire some verbals via the media ? Why enter a lengthy legal battle over such trivial matters.

Asking for 100mil just makes it laughable. Even Cric365 thinks so.

This is the last thing the PCB needs at the moment. As they are currently battling with Shoaib Actor Akthar over him paying his fines and have to ensure that Asif still get to play for Pakistan.

We are not amused Moin.

Break open the champagne

They've done it !

Flyslip reported it first.

The cubs have become the first team to win a series in South Africa.

Lets bask in the glory.

A great day indeed.

Report to follow.

Sportsfreak is pissed, and we like it.

Sportsfreak is angry. With good reason.

Which made us angry.

So we blogged about it.

(Thanks Uncle Jrod for the pointer.)

Cubs to the slaughter

So the cubs are in the rainbow land.

Doing swimmingly in fact. They are all set to achieve something so monumental today, that I must forewarn you to sit down.

Its big.

If the cubs win today, looking at their performances so far it could prove to be quite tight, it will the first time a Sri Lankan team has won a series in South Africa.

Brilliant isnt it. Murali, Sanath, Sagakkara, Mahela all tried. And failed.
But not the cubs.

At least not yet.

They currently posses a hard fought lead of 2-1 in the series and tonight they play the 4th Unofficial ODI. Its a day nighter as well. So, much chance for drama.

The first match was won by the cubs by a mere 3 runs at a venue that if you successfully pronounce in the first try, will win you a prize.

Try it - Potchefstroom.
Sorry that is in correct. No prizes for you.

The 3 young rising stars of Sri Lankan batting once again proved their worth as Kandamby, Anjelo Matthews and FlySlips very own Ambul (already a risen but since fallen star) scored 50s.

The cubs ended with 276 thanks to their efforts and took the field later in the day to be faced by the Saffer duo of Imraan Khan (that ain't no typo and not to be confused with the legendary mystero from Pakistan) and Heino Gunther Kuhn (Potential split personality Ala Gunter Nel if ever there was one).

After a steady start the Don sprung into action!
That's Don Ishan Amarasinghe to you sir.

With venom that only a recent national discard possesses Ishan triggered a mini collapse and had the South Africans at 129-4. The cubs seemed well on the way to a win.

However some later order resistance needed Ishan to come back and finish the game off. 7 needed in the last over with 2 wickets remaining he managed to get wickets with the 1st and 5th ball of the over to earn SL A a win by 3 runs.

1-0

The 2nd game played at an equally difficult venue to pronounce (Try Peitermaritzburg) saw another closely contested game. Sri Lanka were restricted to a mere 218 and once again Angelo Mathews (53), Kandamby (51) and Kaushal Silva(80) impressed.

The game seemed to be heading for a tight ending with the Saffers losing wickets on a regular basis and at 129-4 it seemed to be any ones game. But Dean Elgars 89* saved face for the home. team

The Don once again pipped in with a 2fer.

1-1

Sanity resumed as finally a game was played at a relatively mundane venue name.

Although Buffalo Park..


Ambul, it seems is hell bent on not giving me more material for the Ambul Thiyal-Anga series as he cut,drove, hooked, hoicked, switch hit his way to a career best 173.

He and Paranavithana added 91 for the first wicket and the cubs rode on Ambuls knock to 335. Kandamby lent in with another solid 30.(Why is he still playing for the cubs again ?).

It was a day for the openers as Saffer opener Bodi belted the cubs into a hiding as he unleashed a devastating assault on our opening bowlers.

So it seemed inevitable that the Don make an appearance again along with side kick Ranga Herath as they cleverly dismissed the batsmen at the other end while ensuring Bodi got enough 4 balls to keep the crowd pleased at the other end.

The Don ending up with a 3fer.

Bodi ended up with 153, to which he got with a 6 off Herath, who later dismissed him to bask in sweet revenge.

The RRR shot up and the saffers faltered. Cubs win by 26

2-1

Watch this space to see if the Cubs make history.
Good luck to them !

Banditown vs BigGay

I hate Gamini BigGay.

The fucker has gotten too involved in our cricket and now it seems he’s the guy running the show.

Why bother with Banditown?

Why bother with selectors?

BigGay knows best.

Has he ever lifted a bat in his hand other than his own?

He changes teams that have already been picked.

He overrules decisions that Banditown makes.

Bandi and Banditown must be pissed as. I know I am. Fuck this.

When he first took office he said he wont meddle with cricket. Now it seems all he does is that. Doesn’t Sri Lanka play any other sports for this idiot to get involved in. Netball? Football ? Anything!?

Bandi should sit on Mr.BigGay so that he suffocates to death.

Hair, the long and short of it

What is a haircut? Simply somethin to keep your hair in place or a fashion statement? Well for cricketers today...its a major fashion statement. If you've failed to notice all the bleach that is found in people's hair these days...well then you must be enjoyin that rock you're livin under! The originality and confidence to hav haircuts like these should be applauded but are they really benefiting anyone?

Take Lasith Malinga. Probably one of the best fast bowlers in the world...but is the long curly hair with the blonde highlights really necessary? Im sure everyone agrees its hardly practical for bowling...you go in to bowl the ball and whats the first thing you see...yep BLONDE right in front of your face...but how can he be the one of the best bowlers in the world if he can't even see where he's bowling? Your guess is as good as mine. Malinga has had his range of blondes as well...we've had our sandy blonde and our bleach blonde...and yet he jus can't let go of the blonde! Yet with this hair...he has managed to be named sexiest cricketer in the world cup...i guess that whole tall, dark and handsome thing is a bit overdone :P...

Another crazy long haired fast bowler is Ishant Sharma. Unmistakely a fantastic bowler at 19 but is the long hair really doin him any favours? You've got to admit that his hairstyle is hardly a fashion statement...more of a disaster...especially when bowling in the sub continent!...isn't the practical use of the long hair to keep your neck warm...well you're burnin up as hell in the sub continent as it is...its hardly helpin the man! When asked bout his hair he said "I started sporting long hair as a style statement, but now I am really superstitious about my hair. I am not going in for short hair ever!" A style statement?!...really ishant...are you sure?! :P...

Next up Kevin Pietersen. Even before i liked cricket...i knew bout KP's hair style...well maybe thats jus the fact we all adore him in england...but really talk bout a fashion statement! Although i could never understand how he came up with it...he looks in the mirror one day...sees perfect dark brown hair...and thinks "you kno what will look good...a blonde strip"...ye well maybe he wanted to distract the bowlers. The "dead skunk" look as it has been described took the world by storm...every KP lover was after the strip and maybe jus maybe it improved their batting. But yet even though this hairstyle was random as hell...it jus made him look better and more attractive! So maybe a bit of blonde does go a long way :P...

Last example is Mahendra Singh Dhoni. The man's hairstyle has changed the indian lives forever...every boy who loved cricket wanted the "Dhoni" much like the kids in england want the latest "Beckham". His long hair was seen as a good luck charm to the world over...but then why cut it?...In my personal opinion...either way he looks gorgeous...but the discussion of why he cut his hair has been contemplated in india for a long time. Some stories state that he cut his hair because he wanted to look like his favourite actor John Abraham...whereas other sources say that he was in love with Deepika Padukone and she asked him to cut it!...well you decide...do you think dhoni would cut his hair for a girl?!...ye well i don't...he has enough girls after him as it is :P...

But really...could hair actually be a good luck charm?...these are the questions we can never answer...but it doesn't stop our cricketers from tryin :)!

Trouble in Banditown

Enter Banditunga.

Whats Bandi gone and done now then. SLC , which will from now on be referred to as Banditown, has lifted the ban imposed on the ICL players, allowing them to take part in domestic competitions that not too many really care about.

Or in laymans terms Bandi has gone and stuck his fat finger up the rich boys arse.

Im fully behind him, as much as anyone could be of someone who is gonna have rather a smelly finger right now.

First of all banning ICL players from international cricket was nothing but a big power play by the big bully who doesn’t like share his toys with the rest of the world. How odd when it’s the IPL who stole the ICL idea in the first place. There’s irony for you.

Second of all…..ok so there isn’t really a second of all to this story. The gist of it is that Ranatunga has mildly upset the balance of the force by daring to poke his Bandi where it does not belong. As with all Bandi’s actions it was Bandi before thinking.

Banditown, catchy aint it, has very close ties with the rich boys club up north. It’s a well known fact that when lads get together for a drink and a kick about in between discussing whether Zimbabwe should still play cricket or whether Bangladeshi’s should sent to Mars for taking the game to new lows, Banditown and the rich boys always stick it out together.

And when Bandi needed some short change for a Briyani from the local ‘hotel’ he asked his rich friends for some kitty.

In short, they are tight as. Rather they were.

The rich boys have woken from their slumber , fresh from putting one over England and they are not happy.

Which brings me to my point, yes there was a reason why I wrote all this.

However noble Ranatungas actions are, I cannot help but wonder if this would alienate Banditown , specially since virtually no one else supported their move except media darling Atappattu.

Could all this affect the relationship between the boards up to a point where India will no longer consider us in their good books. The early signs are not good.

And it seems people outside Banditown have also started taking an interest in the matter.

Its interesting to note at this point that India and Sri Lanka have close political ties as well, so perhaps its not so surprising that the sports minister is once again stepped into where he is not wanted to publish his opinion on the matter.

The good minister went on to state that

"I don't want our board to be against the BCCI and the ICC. I want us to be loved by all because we are nice island people with a smile on our face all the time”

Meanwhile there are rumors abound that either Uncle Lalit (head of IPL) or Bandi2 (Pawar) had called Sri Lankan president Mahinda Rajapakse to arrange for a meeting between Banditown and Co and the sports minister. Apparently a new election for the board might also be on the cards.

So the bottom line it seems is that the bans that were lifted might now be re-imposed on the poor ‘rebels’ in the hopes of being loved by the rich boy club again.

Lifes a bitch for people like Atapattu.

Happy times are short for these rebels

Ps-Bandi=Bigbelly

A Sri Lankan Selectors Hand book

With all the talk of the Muppets and jokers one wonders what kind of pressure a Sri Lankan selector is under when he signs up for the job. How do his interviews go? Is there a vigorous training these guys under go or is it just on the job training where mistakes are acceptable?

Basically how does a selector (or one who wants to be one-although we are not sure why you’d want to) go about their job.

So to help our budding selector wanna-be’s we have come up with the essential hand book for a Sri Lankan selector.

1.Before applying for the job, make sure you are someone with absolutely no cricket background. In the unfortunate event of you having some cricketing knowledge and know how-lie about it, or at the very worst make sure its at a very minimum.

If you are currently playing cricket-quit now if you want to pursue being a selector

2.It is essential that you know the political situation in Sri Lanka and especially important is knowledge on who is on whose payroll (Without this you are basically a batsmen with out a bat.).

3.Know your Player stats- No, not the runs or wickets he has taken- rather their family name i.e. who are their fathers (or mothers) and what sort of power do they have in Sri Lankan politics and how deep are their pockets.

Where was the player born- USA/UK take priority over anyone born in Sri Lanka.

4.Know your geography- Sri Lankan geography that is. Its well established fact that players from outside of Colombo are basically useless. So any players doing well in the outstations should not even get a look in until they move to Colombo and are capable of indulging in the much higher living expenses in the capital.

If you are not aware that clubs exist outside Colombo this will be seen favorably

5.Homesickness unwelcome- If you are the sort to get homesick do not consider applying. As a selector you will be required to travel extensively around the world. What you do once you reach the touring country is your business but the board will make sure you are given enough cash to go shopping and pick up that saree or two for the wife back home.

Sometimes you will be required to actually attend tour matches but these inconveniences are rare.

6.Know your enemy- Although as a cricket selector you might naturally expect to have a carefree life its not always rosy. There are many people who will question your every move and every player you drop. Usually these enemies or nemesis comes in 3 forms

-The sports minister: He is the only one who has more power than a selector when picking a team. Dont be surprised if the good minister goes behind your back to bring back a player you have dropped. But thankfully these occasions are few and far between.

-Arjuna Ranatunga: Arjuna is a bit of a wild-card. There is absolutely no logic in the way this man behaves, which eventually means there is no knowing when he may or may not attack a selector using the media and his political influences. He will usually always doubt the system that you have set in place and will almost always doubt the player you pick. Be strong when this happens because Arjuna usually looses stamina due to his over grown belly

Disgruntled ex-Players: These guys are the real cry babies. When you drop them they will use the media to attack selectors and call them names. Disgruntled Ex-players and the sports ministers have a unique bond that can never be broken, so dont be caught off guard if they tag team you from the blind side.


E.g. include: Marvan Atappatu, Upul Chandana,Roshan Mahanama

7.Practice makes perfect: When you pick a certain player and he fails consistently over a period of time dont be disheartened. Keep picking him till he gets those once in a blue moon 50s regardless of other more consistent players.

Tip: One 50 is more than enough to secure a place of said player(s) for the next tours.

8.Talent Spotting: You will be required to know how to spot talent from the youngsters coming through the system. Pls do keep in mind that Pts 2, 3, 4 are essential when even considering a young player for selection. Failure to meet any of the said 3 pts means an automatic disqualification of the player.

Players who average 20s (Batting) and high 30s (bowling) are generally considered good international material. If a certain youngster is averaging better than this, an immediate compliance check of pts 2-4 is necessary.

Otherwise do not hesitate in picking a player with a lower average over a player who is considered good by the rest of the country.

Note: Pt 6 may (or may not) play a part in talent spotting. The enemies mentioned in pt 6 may try to distort your vision of who you think is a good player. Usually they will engage in media warfare using out-dated reasoning like comparing player averages/consistency and “form”.

9.Drop that Superstar: A time will come in your career when you need to drop a superstar player. Regardless of how much the team needs him or his record or his status and his importance to the team do not hesitate in dropping at least one superstar in your career.

Usually this decision will be reversed by the Sports minister (Refer pt 6).But that is of no concern as you will be guaranteed a “cult-following”, especially from the ever growing online Sri Lankan cricket community.

10.Chairmans word is Final: It is your responsibility to obey the instructions of the chairman or else your work permit will be terminated and no longer receive further wages.

Do exactly as the chairman orders.

Eg: If there is a fire in the SLC building and the chairman orders you not to leave the building, do not leave the building!

Usually the chairman will handle the media so PR expertise is not a pre-requisite. Also more often than not nobody will even know who you are unless someone from Pt 6 mentions your name in the media (usually Arjuna or Disgruntled player) or unless you carry out pt 9- in which case you will become The Superstar.

Special thanks to Thushal for his contributions

Bad Hair DAY XI

Skunky to open with...



Mullet twin on the right. No3 Mullet twin on the left


Omish Marshall at 4



Badmulletfatty at 5


collingded at 6



ms to keep






hornywarny



slinga


skunktail-thomo

jesuspie

adams apple

amelie morismo i mean aliceband

Look alikes

I was watching the ICC awards hosted by Nasser Hussain and I could swear his face bared a starkling resemblence to...

Mahela wins Most sensible cricketer of the Year Award

I don’t like 2020 aka 2020Benty aka HitandGiggle.

Neither does Mahela.

Ok, so he doesn’t dislike it like I do. But he doesn’t care for too much of the stuff.

In fact he just wants to play one 2020 tournament a year. Admirable in these times.

Others are chopping at the bits to play in the IPL, EPL ICL and whatever other perverted league that is bound to pop a few years down the road.

Some yobbos down under would apparently even quit international cricket to play in the blasphemes version of the game run by the BCCI and movie stars.

Which even startled the easily irritable Pidgeon.

People love money. So does Mahela. He doesn’t shy away from that. Which is good. At least he’s honest about it.

Mahelas solution is to pile up the money from the IPL, Stanford Bonanza, EPL etc into one big mother load of cash and have a winner takes all type of tourney.

Wait. We have something like that already…The thing that India won and paraded on for about year. Oh ya, the 2020 World Championship.

Of course this would mean one giant step for cricket and one gigantic step for the BCCI – i.e. working together with the ICC.

Unlikely.

Mahelas stock has gone up in my book.

The man talks sense.

5 gold stars even.