The legend of Splendid Mendis

Legend has it that Splendid was conceived at the foot of the mythical Adams peak. Thus people believe this is where Mendis draws his supernatural powers, enabling him to run through a batting line up with a mere flick of his fingers.

When Splendid Mendis entered this mortal earth, it is said that that he thanked his mother for her troubles and told his dad “Ill take it from here”.

Splendid then proceeded to create a horse drawn carriage from a few sticks outside the hospital and pulled the thing himself with his parents on board and took them home.

He later returned to pick up his dads car from the car park.

At age 7 Splendid Mendis’s legend was known only to a select few in the outer regions of the country.

But all that changed over night when, playing back yard cricket with his friends, Splendid dismissed the entire opposition by himself.

That alone might not seem that impressive.

But when he repeated the same 10 times over in the next 10 games everyone took notice.

3 years later , 10 year old Splendid completed his degrees. When he wanted to do a octagon degree – a combination of 8 different disciplines, no university offered it. So he studied in 25 universities at the same time and completed 25 different degrees.

It was a combination of Mechanics, Mechatronics, Advanced Physics, Biology and some other thing even we cant pronounce. For his dissertation he did part time consultancy for NASA and promptly discovered a new universe.

NASA offered to call it the Splendid Universe but Mendis shied away from the spot light.

Splendid was a humble man from the beginning.

At age 11 Splendid was picked by the Australian Cricket team and offered Aussie citizenship. He declined and instead went on to join the Sri Lankan army. Both the cricket team and military.

Mendis once destroyed an entire fleet of rebel battleships with nothing but a leather ball and a flick of his legendary fingers.

When not destroying rebel battalions Splendid was destroying batting line ups in club cricket at 12.

He has taken a 1000 wickets in every season he has played in with a average of –(minus) 155.

A recent poll conducted revealed that 99.99% of the males in Sri Lanka want to be Splendid Mendis. The 0.01% was Mendis himself.

Another poll revealed that 87% of the worlds women want to sleep with Splendid. 100% of the men want the same.

Mendis can drink 50 kegs of beer in one go. And still do 100 Everclear shots one after the other.

Splendid was in fact picked for the Sri Lankan test team at age 13 but he declined as he dint want to steal the spotlight from Murali.

The official name for Sri Lanka is actually The Republique of Ajantha Splendid Mendis, but its more commonly know as Sri Lanka, which is one of the many nick names for Splendid Mendis.

The Large Hadron Collider project was actually in ruins before Splendid offered his help. He dug the tunnel and connected the tubes in 15 minutes.

The first particle they will collide will be Splendid running in opposite direction at the same time.

The Sri Lankan test team hired Mendis as a bowling Machine as net practice for their test tours to India but soon gave up the plan after 300 000 balls of playing and missing.

Splendid coached Terry Jenner.

His bowling average has reached minus infinity. Thrice.

Shane Warne said he was glad he is not playing in the Era of The Splendid.

Splendid doesn't use pick up lines. He merely looks at women and they want give him their number.

Women have been asked not to look directly into his eyes. If they do they will shudder with multiple orgasms.

Splendid has been nominated and has won the greatest human ever award in each of his 20 years on earth. This has largely gone unnoticed to the world because he has requested that his name be kept out of the papers.

And Finally, Don Bradman has said that he would never have got a test run if Splendid had been around when he played.


These are but a mere snippet of the folklore surrounding the great man.

Many of his legendary feats have been lost through the times or been forgotten. However flyslip has dedicated himself to unveiling all the great stories surrounding Splendid.

Aint no other...

At least in my book.

Unless you live under a rock, you'd know what day it is today.
August 27th 2008.

100 years on from August 27th 1908. For anyone non-wise to this date- it is when The Don was born. So today we celebrate the 100th Birth day of the greatest player of all time and the greatest player ever to step on to a patch of green to play cricket to wield a willow.


We all know the stats.
99.94.
Missed the 100 average by 4 runs in his last match.

The legend of the great man has touched every single cricket fan alive.

It would be unthinkable for me to not pay tribute to the man.
However, being Sri Lankan, I thought I'd add a little spice with a Sri Lankan flavor to it.

This post is the fruit of endless bits of research over the last few weeks and a lot of help from some friends over in Australia. So here goes. But be warned this will be a long rant!

Some of you may know that Bradman toured, well toured is a slightly inaccurate, Sri Lanka on a "whistle stop" basis on their way to England. In fact he visited Sri Lanka, or Ceylon at the time, on 4 occasions. In 1930, 1934, 1938 and 1948 to be precise.

Cricinfo articles the 1930 visit;

The Australians played in Colombo against the All Ceylon team on 2nd April 1930, Bradman was out hit wicket for the first ball bowled by N.S.Joseph, in his debut match. This is supposed to be the first and the only occasion that Bradman got out hit wicket.Australians were all out for 233, All Ceylon 52 for 1 at close, the match was interrupted by rain and ended in a draw.

Here is where it starts to get interesting. I was able to track down a entry in Bradmans personal diary detailing this very match. Below is the full entry in the diary

http://www.slsa.sa.gov.au/bradman/scrapbooks/08/bsb08064.htm
This excerpt from Bradmans diary is Copyrighted Republishing this image without prior consent from SLSA is strictly prohibited.

"Standard of cricket quite high"- There you have it folks, from the man himself. This was an assessment that caused my heart to flutter. To have such high praised heaped upon our countrymen even in those days says. Words fail me.

The 1934 and 1938 visits were less eventful. There do not appear to be too many records of the tour at all.

Cricinfo provided a brief snippet.

Don Bradman did not play in the Australian team's tours in 1934, and in 1938 Bradman had a 'cold', the Sri Lankan spectators were very disappointed.

This goes to prove that the legend of Bradman was not contained to England and Australia or even India. Bradman was a hugely popular figure in Ceylon. There are many stories of the crowds flocking to see Bradman when the touring ships called into port in Colombo.

1948
An example of this can he highlighted in the 1948 visit by the Australians.

This particular match, played over just a day, as was the tradition of all the matches played by the touring Australian team, was littered with quite a few colorful events, not least was a 20 yard pitch which confounded the Australian batsmen until they discovered the error !

Jack Fingleton writes an account of the match in his 1949 book, Brightly fades The Don.




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Fingleton fondly recalls his memories of the then Colombo, the now infamous 20 yard pitch and the curious, curatoress! Bradman coming out in a toppee is priceless. Him and Barnes fighting for the strike and needling each other in the middle is both intriguing and enjoyable to read. This was the human and rather mischievous side of the great man.

Bradman himself made it a point to mention the 1948 game in his own book-Farewell to Cricket



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He makes mention of the notorious Colombo heat and the enchanting scoreboard at the Colombo oval. It seems no surprise that he was affected by the intense heat in Colombo. Many have suffered its wrath. Further proof that the man was human after all (which somehow makes his records seem even more incredible).

The love for Bradman in Sri Lanka is evident in an excerpt from "Bradman" by Charles Williams. Sri Lankan fans would ride out in tiny boats when the ship from Australia neared the harbour hoping for a sighting of the Don.



Click on image for a larger view

Cricinfo provides a brief summation of the 1948 game.

On 27th March 1948 there was a crowd of about 20,000 at the Colombo Oval, to see Bradman play for the last time in Sri Lanka, Don Bradman was able to score only 20 runs as he was caught by R.L. de Krester bowled B. Russell Heyn. Australia declared at 184 for 4 an hour before close of play, All-Ceylon were 46 for 2 when rain stopped play. This match was memorable for another reason as the length of the pitch was 20 yards and not 22. Australian batsman found it hard to get the ball away, they bowled from two yards behind the bowling crease.

1948 Match Scorecard- Aus in Ceylon

Sir Donald would have been a 100 years old today. Mortals such as us will never have the privilege to see this man in action. He played cricket test cricket in 4 countries. But Sri Lanka has the honor of being the 5th and only other country (correct me if I am wrong) where the Don pulled on his white flannels to play cricket. From all accounts, even his personal diaries, it seems he held our cricket in high regard, and our country in even a higher plane.

There can be no greater honor for Sri Lankan cricket.

Many Happy returns of the day Sir Donald, where ever you may be.

Sources

Brightly Fades the Don, by Jack Fingleton, Sydney, 1949.

Farewell to Cricket, by Don Bradman, London, 1950

The Invincibles, by Peter Allen, Sydney, ABC, 2001.

Sir Donald Bradman: a Biography, by Irving Rosenwater, London, 1978.

Bradman, by Charles Williams, London, 1996.
www.cricinfo.com

Special Thanks to;
Chris Read
Anthony Duffield

Note: I have a few more excerpts from some books on the 1948 game. If interested let me know in the comments section