Arjuna vs The Cricketing Mafia

Lets look at some facts

-SLC is running at a 600mil rupee bank over draft

-SLC sets up a potentially money earning series with England and the ECB for May 2009 to help in their financial troubles

-Which clashed with the IPL also set for May 2009, meaning most of the big names from SL would miss the 2nd IPL season

The ‘Players picking IPL over country’ debate begin

-Lalit Modi and BCCI have were going to have none of this and set up a 70mil dollar deal for the SLC, over ten years for letting the SL players take part in the IPL and the Champions League.

-Arjuna meanwhile goes on a trigger happy crusade against the IPL 2020, calling it nothing more than ‘instant noodles’- which we must all agree is one of the best analogies ever made.

-Arjuna then goes on to blame the IPL 2020 for India losing the test series in SL.

BCCI and Lalit Modi start to dislike Arjuna

-ECB’s David Morgan says SLC’s agreement with the BCCI over the 70mil is ‘unacceptable’ stating the ICC reaffirmed that Test Cricket was to be the number 1 priority for the boards.

-Arjuna says the English test series will go ahead.

-And then does the unthinkable and lifts the ban on ICL players playing domestic cricket in SL.

BCCI and Modis dislike Arjuna even more.

-Modi and BCCI say the deal will not go ahead if Arjuna is around.

-Threatens to cut bi-lateral ties with SL.

-Hints it can “buy off” any Sri Lankan player if it wants to.


Dead Lock.


The message is clear. India control the money and they have the power. They are kinda like the mafia of cricket right now. Threatening to bump off or buy off anyone who dares to go against them. Their reach is growing and its all about muscling out who ever they want to, to make as much money as possible.

India’s reputation of threatening to cut ties, boycott series and tours is growing. They exercised this power in Australia- Got their way.

They are doing the same with lowly SLC- surely they will win this time as well.

Arjuna is caught in the middle. He needs to make money for the SLC. Please the ECB, Please the BCCI and the IPL and his players all at the same time. That will never happen.

We argue a lot over the fact that cricket is only about the money these days. In this case- it HAS to be about the money. SLC needs money and its quite obvious that the most amount of money will flow from the IPL and the BCCI at the moment.

When Arjuna came into power I thought it would be a good thing. He always spoke about how the game in SL needs to improve to play with the big teams around the world. He seemed to have a vision.

But somewhere between his triple upsized breakfasts and predicting India will win the 2007 WC, he seems to have lost his mind.

The IPL and the BCCI don’t care about cricket, they care about Break Even points and balance sheets and we are nothing but a small country in Political turmoil and financial crisis. When big brother offers a hand this big I think we ought to take it.

The England series was never in the schedule. Arjuna dug him self a hole by hastily arranging it. And although I was ecstatic that we would tour England again and annoyed that players seemed to be picking the IPL over the country on hindsight you have to try and see the bigger picture.

The big picture is that the IPL will give the SLC more money over a longer period of time than one test series in England ever could. What Arjuna should have done instead of shooting his potty mouth is to have initiated discussions with the BCCI and IPL regarding the participation fees he claims the SLC never got.


And SLC needs money.

Its strange because ONLY the SLC have publicly announced that they did not get any fee. Were the other boards given this money and SLC ignored ?

Arjuna is not a business minded man, he has a big ego and does not enjoy anyone going against him. He is revered in SL cricketing circles because of what he achieved as a player. And he enjoys using that power to get his way to the front of the buffet line- so to speak.

But he is clearly not the man to lead the SLC, he runs his mouth which makes the board and the country look bad.

If I were Arjuna I would step down , because that would be in the interest of cricket in Sri Lanka. It is however unlikely and as long as he heads the board Sri Lankan cricket will be in turmoil in one way or the other.

Host Monty and win 500 quid !

Yes, that’s right. Bloomfield CC in Sri Lanka are going to be awarded 500 pounds for hosting Monty for a month.

Which is roughly around 90,000 rupees. Quite a nifty amount, but the club is currently feeling indifferent about it.

I'm not too sure what the fuss is about. 500 pounds equates to about 90 000 rupees back home. Which is roughly the amount an employee of a few years experience makes in Sri Lanka for a month.

Bloomfield are miffed as to why the ECB wont pay them the 7500 pounds they had asked for.

Are you fucking kidding me?

That is roughly around 1.4 mil rupees, which can support an entire squad of 15 for a month at 90k rupees a player.

The ECB are never going to pay so much to host Monty. Bloomfield ‘claim’ that they will need to replace their captain Shanuka Dissanayake for Monty.

Ironically Shanuka might actually be a better bowler than Monty. He clicks in at 21 per wicket vs Monty’s 31.
So Shanuka is good, but not 7500 pounds good.

Bloomfield can count themselves lucky if the ECB still goes ahead with the revised 1000 quid they are now offering.

If I were them Id take the money and start mixing a welcome drink for Monty.

Fan-actics: "Stallions vs Sugar XI"

Someone who wanted only to be known as The RAT, sent this one in.

Stallions Cricket Vs Pelwatte Sugar XI (30 overs)

Date: 18 October 2008

Venue: Pelwatte Sugar Cricket Ground

Toss: Stallions Cricket

Pelwatta Sugar XI 154/9 (30 overs)

Stallions Cricket 103 all out (27.3 overs)

The 5 hour drive had little affect on the visitors and after a heavy but interesting night the day before the game the Stallions cricketers (named by the club founders after the traditional Roy-Tho tent "Stallions") took on Pelwatta Sugar XI for a friendly encounter on Saturday the 18th October.

"ill-discipline prior to the match may have attributed to the Stallions loss."

After winning the toss the Stallions picked up where they left off the night before and had the home team reeling at 80/7 in the 20th over. However an excellent rearguard action by the home team's No.9 and No.10 (names not available as the writer does not have the scorebook) pushed their total to a competitive 154.


"This picturesque ground was set a light as wickets and beer bottles tumbled all day long"

However when the Stallions replied they had clearly finished the previous nights "jet fuel" and after a handy opening stand on 30 by Amal (12) and Pubudu (20) lost their last 6 wickets for 23 runs, falling short of the target by 51 runs. The disappointed cricketers saw no option but to return to their accomodations to "re-fuel" themselves that night.

"The opening Stallions gave the team a healthy start but soon the batting fizzled our, much like the beers that were getting cold."


"The Stallions"

The world needs a (leg spinning) hero

With Anil Kumbles career nose diving further than the stock market these days, it brings to an end a great era in modern day cricket.

For most of the mid 90's Kumble, Mushy and Warne mesmerised, tricked and spun their way to countless number of wickets.

Each had varying styles which made it an incredible spectacle for the watcher.So with Kumble's career ending it closes the chapter on the great leg spinners of the modern game.

Cricket needs spinners. Because they are rare.

Good ones are even more rare.

And Great leg spinners are those once in a life time types. So the cricket community have been incredibly lucky that we have had 3 of the greatest in the span of a decade.

As UncleJ rambles on, leg spinners are cool. They make cricket make more interesting. They tend to capture the imagination of the people watching it. They get you fixed to the tele to see what will come out of their hand next.

And don't deny it. Everyone loves to see a batsmen looking like their shat their pants when they don't read the googly and gets castled (Ricky Ponting v Chawla).

Or when they get bowled around the legs in the last over the day (Basit Ali v Warne).

The worrying factor now is though that since 1992, when Warne made his debut, we are yet to find a leggie of the same class. Many have come and gone but none have shown the class of the big 3.

The closest to the mantle was another Aussie in StuartMcgill. But he put an end to his chances when he consumed too many Bigmacs and drank too much wine when he got side lined by Warnes greatness.

Since there there have been many young upstarts. We've heard about Nice Bryce Mcgain, many times (too many times if you count Jrods antics!), but yet to see him at the highest level.

Sri Lanka themselves have tried to blood in a leggie and failed miserably. Malinga Bandara, Kaushal Lokuarrachhi lack the class.

The best bet right now is Amit Mishra and Piyush Chawla. Both have great potential and Mishra showed he has the class to keep the Aussies and young Chawla at bay while holding his own.

Personally I'm backing Mishra, he's cool. Seems like hes ready to get down and dirty.
Has potential to get the crazy-eyes if the time comes and did I mention he bowls well.

So there is some hope.

The world needs a leg spinning hero.

Someone we can always count on to make the batsmen look like utter fools

Someone who make batsmen wet their beds at night dreaming about picking them the next day.

Someone our kids can tell their grand kids about.

Weird google searches that led people here - ep2

"googly ghost"

Seems Ricky Ponting is still not over - this

The legend of Splendid Mendis

Legend has it that Splendid was conceived at the foot of the mythical Adams peak. Thus people believe this is where Mendis draws his supernatural powers, enabling him to run through a batting line up with a mere flick of his fingers.

When Splendid Mendis entered this mortal earth, it is said that that he thanked his mother for her troubles and told his dad “Ill take it from here”.

Splendid then proceeded to create a horse drawn carriage from a few sticks outside the hospital and pulled the thing himself with his parents on board and took them home.

He later returned to pick up his dads car from the car park.

At age 7 Splendid Mendis’s legend was known only to a select few in the outer regions of the country.

But all that changed over night when, playing back yard cricket with his friends, Splendid dismissed the entire opposition by himself.

That alone might not seem that impressive.

But when he repeated the same 10 times over in the next 10 games everyone took notice.

3 years later , 10 year old Splendid completed his degrees. When he wanted to do a octagon degree – a combination of 8 different disciplines, no university offered it. So he studied in 25 universities at the same time and completed 25 different degrees.

It was a combination of Mechanics, Mechatronics, Advanced Physics, Biology and some other thing even we cant pronounce. For his dissertation he did part time consultancy for NASA and promptly discovered a new universe.

NASA offered to call it the Splendid Universe but Mendis shied away from the spot light.

Splendid was a humble man from the beginning.

At age 11 Splendid was picked by the Australian Cricket team and offered Aussie citizenship. He declined and instead went on to join the Sri Lankan army. Both the cricket team and military.

Mendis once destroyed an entire fleet of rebel battleships with nothing but a leather ball and a flick of his legendary fingers.

When not destroying rebel battalions Splendid was destroying batting line ups in club cricket at 12.

He has taken a 1000 wickets in every season he has played in with a average of –(minus) 155.

A recent poll conducted revealed that 99.99% of the males in Sri Lanka want to be Splendid Mendis. The 0.01% was Mendis himself.

Another poll revealed that 87% of the worlds women want to sleep with Splendid. 100% of the men want the same.

Mendis can drink 50 kegs of beer in one go. And still do 100 Everclear shots one after the other.

Splendid was in fact picked for the Sri Lankan test team at age 13 but he declined as he dint want to steal the spotlight from Murali.

The official name for Sri Lanka is actually The Republique of Ajantha Splendid Mendis, but its more commonly know as Sri Lanka, which is one of the many nick names for Splendid Mendis.

The Large Hadron Collider project was actually in ruins before Splendid offered his help. He dug the tunnel and connected the tubes in 15 minutes.

The first particle they will collide will be Splendid running in opposite direction at the same time.

The Sri Lankan test team hired Mendis as a bowling Machine as net practice for their test tours to India but soon gave up the plan after 300 000 balls of playing and missing.

Splendid coached Terry Jenner.

His bowling average has reached minus infinity. Thrice.

Shane Warne said he was glad he is not playing in the Era of The Splendid.

Splendid doesn't use pick up lines. He merely looks at women and they want give him their number.

Women have been asked not to look directly into his eyes. If they do they will shudder with multiple orgasms.

Splendid has been nominated and has won the greatest human ever award in each of his 20 years on earth. This has largely gone unnoticed to the world because he has requested that his name be kept out of the papers.

And Finally, Don Bradman has said that he would never have got a test run if Splendid had been around when he played.


These are but a mere snippet of the folklore surrounding the great man.

Many of his legendary feats have been lost through the times or been forgotten. However flyslip has dedicated himself to unveiling all the great stories surrounding Splendid.

2020 CL Draw- Sharad Pawar puffs the magic dragon

I kid you not,

See for your self

Sharad Paward on the puff

See the rest of the show here

Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6


Important questions to come out from the Draw are

- can the ICC ever host a good show?
- are Harsha Bogle's homo tendencies getting out of hand. (Hint Shane Watson, Hint, Hint, Hint)
- was sharad pawar on the puff ?
- can Mike Hussey ever pose for a photo without looking like a fucking alien.

And of course, do we really care about all this ?

Redbacks make Younis Khan spasm with excitement

Khan debuted for the Redbacks just yesterday against the Speedblitz blues
It was a magnificent day.

Not for Khan. He made 3.

But the Redbacks won a nail biter off the penultimate ball of the day, off a misfield when they needed 2 off 2.

I'm glad I'm not that fielder.

What was most interesting to note was though Khans reaction when they did win.

He was fist pumping and hugging players he probably does'nt even know yet. Like the commentator said 'it was like he'd won the world cup'.

For a minute, you'd be forgiven for thinking he was having some kind of weird whole body orgasm.

I've never seen Khan that excited in my life.

Maybe he is just happy to be playing some cricket again.
Maybe's hes happy not to be in Pakistan with Ijaz Butt going crazy.

Or Maybe he was trying to shake off the jet lag.

But who cares, its good to see these international guys show passion for this type of game.

Specially a Pakistani, who as well all know by now wont feature in a test match this whole year.

Keep the spirit alive Younis. And hopefully some runs next time

The most rated, under-rated player in the world

Is undoubtedly, Daniel Vettori.

Check it, the mans just had a sensational test match against Bangladesh, might not warrant for much, but the Kiwis were in a spot of bother at one stage before Vettori saved their asses, AGAIN.

Daniel, glasses and all, is a man who carries his entire countries fortunes, at least the cricketing ones, on his back.

Dan Vettori is New Zealand. New Zealand is Dan Vettori. ( KingCricket thinks its got something to do with his glasses.)

To drive home this point, picture the Kiwis without him. They would be no better than Bangladesh.

It really would be a battle of the minnows.

He does everything.

His bowling is brilliant. Proper world class.

His batting is a comical collection of good shots, ugliness and excruciatingly frustrating blocking. But it gets the job done.

The captaincy has not affected his cricketing ability one bit. When Stephen Fleming stepped down it left a huge void. He was someone everyone looked up to and not too many can remember a time when Flemming dint captain New Zealand.

Vettori stepped up. His batting and bowling averages are a huge contrast to his career figures as captain.

With the bat he averages 41 from his usual 27. With the ball its down to 30 from 33. He is rated the 2nd best all rounder in test cricket by the ICC.

Add to all this the fucker is only 27. That's at least another good 8-10 years in the big league.

He is not afraid of a scrap either.

With some new stars coming into the team the Kiwis are currently in the process of developing into a good team

There is no better man to lead them through this haze of changing landscapes in world cricket.

Plus the ladies just adore him.

Harry Potteresque, Nerd or just plain old guy next door, what ever you may be Daniel,

Under rated, you are no longer.

Ricky Ponting; the law abiding captain

So in case any of you are still wondering why Brett Lee dint bowl in the first session of Day 4 we went ahead and asked him

Well not we, but Mark Nicalaus.



So apparently its overrates that Lee dint get a the nod from Ponting.

This is very hard to believe, How can you not bowl lee, the premier fast bowler in the team cuz of Overrates?

Things might not be as peachy as it looks in the Aussie camp. And its not looking too peachy right now.

Tier A Preview : Tamil Union

Profile.

The story of Tamil Union is one of always being the brides maid, but never the bride. They are the Tasmania of Sri Lanka.


Not too many of the TU players get into the test team but when they do they make it count. Tamil Unions favorite son is also every body’s favorite son. The goggle eyed one aka Murali.


Came in 3rd in Tier A last year and will be strong challenger for the title this season.


Leadership
28 year old Muditha Maduwantha should be leading the side out for another season. A make shift player who can bat both at the top and lower order and bowls first change.


But what the Union will be looking for from him is some inspired leadership and to maintain consistent performances throughout the season.


A feat they couldn't accomplish last year winning 4 and losing 3.

Batting- Hit and miss.

A decent batting line up with national player Lanka de Silva leading the way. He is ably backed up by veterans Sajith Fernando and last years player of the tournament Muthumudalige Pushpakumara.


The biggest challenge for the team however will be to put up consistent scores. Last season the batting was a cacophony all sorts. Scores of over 400 one day and less than 150 the next.

To be a legitimate candidate for the title this year the batting needs to take on more responsibility to ensure the bowlers have good totals to play around with.


Bowling-lacks the punch

This is where Union will struggle. Although they have good variation, their in ability to pick up wickets last season was one of the reasons for their inconsistent performance.


A lot will be expected from captain Maduwantha. However all eyes will be on the off spin of Muthumudalige Pushpakumara, the Unions highest wicket taker in the last season. Having made the move to the Tamil Union last year be finally delivered on his much hyped talent. More big things are expected this season.


Right of passage
There are a couple of young uns to keep an eye on here. Suranga Lakmal in his debut season led the attack well. With some experience under his belt he will be required to provide more early breakthroughs this season. If Tamil Union are to make a severe dent in the table you’d have to back this young fast bowler to deliver.

Gihan de Silva has been loitering on the talent he has got. An average of 26 in 3 years of first class cricket doesn’t sound like much but all that can change this year if he gets his act together.

Playing in the middle order at a pivotal no5-6 positions de Silva, coach Brendon Kurruppu will be expecting a lot more from this 23 year old this season to back up his keeping.


Prediction

Tier A:2nd or 3rd

Kiwis wobble as Ian Smith recites mantra's

As Australia heads for one of the biggest losses in their recent history, Lil Bangladesh is slowly working their way through the Kiwi top order.

Right now the key remains Vettori and Taylor.

A partnership of some substance will see the kiwis home.

But a couple of wickets will make have them singing a different tune.

Sakib is having an absolute sensational game. With still 100 + runs in the arrears this spells a very close prospect.

However, with Flinn, Mccullum and Oram to come, Kiwis are odds on favorites.

I'd love to see the Bangladeshi's pull off a win here.

Meanwhile reports are now coming in that Ian Smith has been shun in commentary box as he becomes increasingly distraught with each kiwi wicket that falls.

Smith has apparently covered him self in a bedsheet in the corner of the press area and has been heard to be reciting mantra's hoping that the Kiwis can pull off the win.

Some say he's even got the crazy - eyes on him. People have scrambled to locate Jessie Ryder to nip this disaster in the bud ,but as so far been unable to find him since he left the dressing room for an early lunch.

Edit: as I post this Taylor goes!

Fan-atics :"Captain Malik or Captain Mistake?"

A Distraught Pakistani and dear friend of the flyslip, Zaid, sent this one in.

Captain Malik or Captain Mistake?

I feel that twenty twenty cricket is the easiest form of the game to captain in. Shoaib Malik, Pakistan's young skipper, failed badly vs Sri Lanka in both matches. The first match he got away with, but if it was test or 50 over cricket the result would most probably be very different.

Malik's Mistakes vs Sri Lanka

1. (first match) captain Malik wins the toss and choses to bowl first on a pitch that is getting harder to bat on

2. (first match) Captain Malik brings Umar Gul on in the 15th over so he can only bowl 3 overs max (note gul took four wickets in those 3 overs)

3. (first match) Captain Malik comes into the match and plays one hell of a slow innings forcing other batsman to take risks and get out


4. (1st match) Captain Malik sends in Sohail Tanvir ahead of recognized batsman Fawad Alam and makes Pakistan's task more difficult

5. (2nd match) Captain Malik brings on Umar Gul too early and well...just watch this to see the result

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/-jh0QUJQuJ4&rel=0" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/v/-jh0QUJQuJ4&rel=0</a>

6. (2nd match) Captain Malik brings on Akhtar in the 15th over...now this is where Gul would have been brilliant as shown in the next over Gul bowled who took a wicket and should have had another

Now after that Akhtar over the match was over. Now you say "why bring on Gul? he got hammered by a rookie!"

Well a few days before captain Malik said Gul is the best bowler with the old ball, so why bring him on in the 5th over and then why not bowl him when the opposition is under pressure rather than giving it to the out of form Shoaib Akhtar.

All this one a short T20 match. Malik's time as skipper is running out. I would take anyone as captain now- Afridi, Misbah, Younis, or even Yousuf

Australias bulldog grit sees them through

This is why this teams best test team in the world.

Its hard to see too many teams that can recover from the position Australia were in today.

The key to the whole thing once again was being aggressive. Its amazing what a positive mind set can do.

At 57-4 most teams would scurry into their shell, but Micheal Clarke and Brad Haddin proved their worth in the team. Although another failure from Haddin might cost him his spot.

There were some reckless shots being played by both but once they got their eye in slightly , most started connecting. Clarke especially looked good when coming down the wicket.

However, doing this when the partnership is going well and with India slightly on the back foot is one thing. Doing this tomorrow might not prove too successful.

Tomorrow will ask for a different set of skills from the batsmen. The skill to survive the first wave of Indian onslaught and to weather the second.

To turn the pressure back onto them in the 2nd session.

And to cling on for dear life in the 3rd.

If any team can do this its the Aussies.

Another joyous test match cricket awaits

We'll be Singhing when we're winning

Well I did predict an Aussie win here and it seems there are quite resolute in making me loose my money here.

47-0 to 57-4.

Singh on fire. Sharma all over Ponting, again.

Hayden started with a bout a trillion fours but that was short lived.

Can Australia last the day ??

And can Bangladesh loose another test?

Stay tuned.

Edit: 58-5

100 dollars Australia wont last the day.

Tier A Preview: SSC

I have been long since intending to do a domestic preview. Living away from home doesn't help this cause. Having next to no access to match information is another.

Since many of you are probably alien to the domestic set up in SL, I will make an analogy to your teams to a county or state team in Australia so that you get the general idea of how that team is perceived back home.

Our system is much like the English county system, with two 'Tiers A, B'. One team gets relegated and another promoted at the end of the season.

Of course this may not happen this year since some fuckers decided the relegated team wont be demoted. No one knows why.

Understandably the other teams aren't happy about this. 18 of the 20 teams are threatening to boycott. So these previews might end up being the most useless time Ive spent blogging.

Any who, Tier A is where all the shit goes down and like Division 2 in England , no one gives a stuff about Tier B.

Profile
SSC are the undisputed King of the jungle when it comes to Sri Lankan domestic cricket. A whole heap of National starts are bred on this infamous club.

They are what NSW is to Australia. Half the national team is from the SSC and which is extremely annoying.


Leadership.
Last year the reins weren't exactly stable. Avishka Gunewardene was the captain for the season, he later joined the ICL so SLC dint really like that too much.

Then Sri Lankans very own Probot extraordinaire, Thilan Samaraweera got the nod, but he too left for international duty and more probotting around the world.

The keg fell to Tharanga Paranavitana, and he led the team to Tier A victory as they regained the Tier A championship from Colombo Cricket Club.

This year though, Id like to see the captaincy go to Thilina Kandamby, who has led the A team with distinction and is proving himself to be a strong candidate for the job.

Batting
Strong.

The top 2 run scorers for last season came from SSC.

In Paranavitana and Jeewan Mendis they have strong opening pair. The middle order is solid with players like Kandamby, Kaushal Silva coming into their own in the A team in recent times.

Big numbers are on the cards.

Bowling
Strong.

23 year old off spinner Sachithra Senanayake was the only bowler to get 50 wickets in Tier A. A repeat of the same dose is expected.

Backed up by current internationals Thilal Thushara and Dammika Prasad, SSC can expect a few early wickets on a consistent basis. Prasads big made and fires it at a quick pace, and Thusharas in your face attitude and left armers add great variety.

Kaushal Lokkuarrachi offers the leg spin option.

SSCs got all the bases covered.

Right of Passage
In Shalika Karunanayake, SSC has a player who has come up through the ranks. A star in the U-19 team this will the season he takes things by the balls.

At 21 hes still plying his trade. A genuine medium pacer and a strong batsmen I expect consistent and dominant performances from the kid all season as he grows his pubes and enters into manhood.

Sachithra Sennayake was a sensation last season with 50 wickets. More of the same pls Sachithra.

Prediction
Tier A- 1st or 2nd.

Australia v India 2nd Test Day 1 Highlights

Strange google searches that led people here - ep1

"hairstyles for round faces mans"

We also provide hairstyles for square faces and oval shaped as well.

Just drop us a mail and we will send you an array of 'dos for you to try out.

Vote for the great no6 batsman in ODI history

Ok, so its been a while since I updated this, time to get the ball rolling.

The Idea was to vote for the best player in that position to make an all time XI.

So far the team is.

• Jayasuriya
• Gilly
• Punter
• Viv Richards
• Inzamam
  

Notable absentees- Tendulkar and Lara.

But the people have spoken.

So get off your arses and get voting for no6 !

Online Surveys & Market Research

Aus v Ind, 2nd Test Preview, Should Dhoni Captain?

The first test promised much but delivered very little. The first 4 days dragged on without too much happening until Pricky made a generous declaration. In the end rain made sure that the affair ended in a dull draw.

So we look ahead to Mohali now.

Which isnt really known for its result oriented pitches. Teams batting first generally tend to do OK. But the 2nd and 3rd innings have proved to be the most profitable for the batsmen.

Batting
Australia-Polishing off the edges

Ponting and Hussey stole the show and Bagaloroo, what the hell is up with that anyway, We predicted a lean series for Pricky but he proves us wrong. Top effort. Still might be troubled if the spinners get their act together. Hussey just looks like hes on another plane altogether at the moment.

Clarke owes some runs to the team. I expect him to make a significant contribution in this game.
Watson and White did enough to keep their place. Hayden might need to make some runs to secure his place in the team. But the question is will Australia consider dropping him if he fails again? Jaques is breathing down his neck and is a very good replacement.

India-Relying on the openers.
All it takes is one innings from Sehwag and everyones predictions go out the window. He is due.
Gotham City Gambir played a solid hand but must convert his starts into considerable scores to make Ponting sweat.

The fab4 came to the rescue in the last innings but still look dodgy. Another false start in the first innings might leave India reeling.

Bowling
Australia- Team effort.
They bowled well as a unit , without exceeding at an individual level. Stuey needs to put up a better show in the wickets coloumn and Lee needs to make better use of the new ball for early break throughs. Watson, White and Clarke all will chip in with handy wickets. But you wonder when the lack of a quality spinner will finally tell on the Aussies.

India- Relying on the quicks.
Zaheer bowled superbly to put the Aussies under pressure. A repeat performance is expected. Sharma will be expected to deliver some early wickets as well. The biggest issue for India right now is the fitness of Kumble.

If he is unfit who do they go for? 3 quicks and Bajji?
Or bringing in Chawla?

Tough decisions. Personally Id back Chawla. He bowled well in the warm up game. Had the Aussies in trouble more often than not.

Captaincy
India is facing a huge dilemma at the moment. Whether to go with Dhoni or Kumble. An hour and half under Dhoni revealed a lot more about than Kumbles leadership than it did Dhonis. The players seem to respond to Dhoni more. He seems at ease with the job. He has his players respect and is Ian Chappels man for the job.

If Kumble is unfit, then Dhoni must be given the reins. If so then another issue arrises when Kumble is fit for the 3rd. If Dhoni does well the the problem is compounded.

I predicted the end of the road for Kumble after this series. It might not even go that far for him.

Verdict:Im going to go out on a limb and say an Aussie victory. They seem the more assured team. Their key players are firing. The captaincy is in safe hands and seem the team that can push on for a victory when the opportunity presents.

Sanath Jayasuriya- the baddest motherfucker to play cricket in Canada

Although unnoticed by large parts of the cricketing world, the 2020 shindig in Canada had its moments.

Sri Lanka cleaned up as expected. To our Splendid Mendis more accolades.

There was a mandatory thriller between the two big teams.

And another finals dominated by Sanath and Mendis.

The highlight undoubtedly was though, when the usually reserved Jayasuriya flipped the birdie to the Canadian crowd. More specifically the Canadian Tamils in the crowd.

The Canadian tamils had been taunting the Sri Lankans all through the series, an utter disgrace to all Tamils.

It is no secret that the Canadian Tamil community are open supporters of the LTTE rebel group in Sri Lanka.

But this type of mixing politics with cricket makes reading about how the sports minister changed a squad bearable.

Jayasuriya little meltdown has not gone unnoticed. Tamil websites and newspapers all ran the story.
A hero has been made a villain over night.

But in flyslips book, Sanaths stature just went up 10 fold. We are even considering temporarily stopping our campaign to get him dropped from the team.


Sanaths got balls, mighty balls made of titanium. That kind that don’t even melt on the sun. And we love a player with balls like that.

It was a proper “Fuck off you jobless fucktards” message from Sanath.

Listen here Canadian Tamils, you wanna bring your politics to the game, don’t bother fucking showing up.

Cuz our man Sanath will fuck you up. Like a gang bang with a Japanese chick and 50 Negro bad ass motherfuckers.

He will leave you bleeding from your anus to your pussies.

This here is a game of cricket ya hear. Get on your tamilnet and become forum warriors if you want to but don’t bring this bullcrap the game.

Thank you and Fuck off.

While I was away...

For those who knew, Its good to be back.

For those who dint, well makes no difference to you I guess.

A lot changes in 4 days it seems.

Surprising no one worth their balls, the Kiwis beat the ever increasingly, annoyingly inconsistent Bangladeshi’s. They give you hope then they take it away, cruel.

Mr. Ashawful and co have a long ways to go yet.

The mighty mighty Lions, the Sri Lankan variety, not the British sort, smacked their way to a entertaining win in some far away land with no TV coverage.

Flyslips own Splendid Mendis won the Man of the series as per usual. Old man Sanath gave the crowd some entertainment as well, via his middle finger. Some LTTE supporters, a terrorist group, not a band or such like, apparently hounded some of the lads and Jayasuriya flipped the birdie to let them know how he felt.

Meanwhile back home, following a brilliant review of the Tier System in Sri Lankan domestic cricket by us, SLC decided that NO Tier B teams should enter into Tier A, thus the currently relegated Baduraliya(Tier A last placed) might not be sent into oblivion and become a non news worthy team after all.

In case you missed it, we recommended more teams enter Tier A, having read the report SLC decided to not let any team enter Tier A, we were naturally confused.

So 18 of the 20 teams now seem to be heading for a Boycott of the premier league. Things are not peachy.

Also, Mohammad Ashawful become the first and possibly the last batsmen to publically apologize for playing a bad shot. Sri Lankans have tried tirelessly to get Sanath Jayasuriya to do the same for years. And failed.

We applaud you son, even though we don’t like you that much for playing that shot.

Oh and those two teams in India right now played out some boring draw. A big bear attacked an old man got his rewards, We are proud of you.

Ps- Thanks to NWK for keeping the posts and entertainment going while I was away !

Australia and India - The friendly Series

So far the most enduring image of the test series has been the constant smiling, joking around and cuddling of the Indian players by the Right Honourable PonnaTing. The grace which he has shown on the cricket field has been nothing sort of sensational. Obviously, we at fly slip don't judge a tree by looking at it - No Saar! We chop it down and then count the rings and tell how long it could have lived, and likewise we use our expert skill and our under extra cover reporters (with fine legs!).

It has come to the attention of one of our hard working unemployed Coolies that Zee TV plan to make an soap opera about cricket stars and their relationships (Dil ke Rishta Pagal Ho). This also explains why Dhoni was heard behind the stumps saying things like "You're forever mine" and "We are just one kiss erh wicket away from vittory [(very)sic]". We believe there is a love triangle between Ponting, Sachin and 250 lakh rabid indian supporters. Also the series is most likely to be a remake of another remake of another remake...... of Laagan, which begat .... who begat ..... who came from God.

Anyway all this free love that was shown in the match has conspired against the cricket fan and produced one those things known as a draw. (20-20 fans call this boring, but 20-20 fans only go to the cricket for the big ****s and the big boozy parties). This series will be completely ruined if some agression (We call him Monkey Magic, but recently got caught dangling his line - shaah!) or stupidity (if stupidity has a name and human form, cue Shreesanth) isn't put back into the matches.
If all else fails, Bring back Adolf Hogg and his evil ways....

Other things to note from this test is the comments that Zaheer Khan (Ghengis's thambi) made after the match that Australia was not playing positive cricket... I'm sure this will get under the skin of some of the australians that haven't been love struck by their indian counterparts...

Until next time, this has been the Nathi wunu Kolla reporting for fly slip... Its been a pleasure writing regularly, please leave your comments and rate the blogs...

Many Thanks,
Vaazhga Valamudan,
N w K!

Amazing New Zealand avoids defeat

In an unpredecented match, New Zealand somehow managed to squeak home against the much higher rated team - Bangladesh. Such an upset hasn't been seen in the history of cricket since the days Darrel Hare stalked and munched his way across the cricket field. Vittori, The first ever Italian to play cricket and captain a national side said that he was buying the boys a round at the local pub in celebration of their achievement.

In comparison Ashawful was seen crying as Mortaza Mugabeman lost his wicket and thus ended the match. After the game, an informed source told reporters that he was unconcilable and despondant (who makes up this english words shesh).

Man of the match, Jacob Orang, said that this was the most unbelievable match he has played in his life. Orang scored 75 runs without going out (an amazing feat by New Zealand standards) and he took two wickets without going for more runs than he scored (A rare achievement by New Zealand Players).

The match was so exciting that Ian Smuth was raced to a Auckland hospital after suffering a heart attack, he is believed to be recovering though his commentary is terminally sick.

However this result may not save New Zealand from falling into the relegation (to be joined by Zimbabwe, Nambia, Israel and Outter Mongila).

All eyes are open for the third ODI where Bangladesh is favoured to give New Zealand a heavy blow..

I can't wait!

Gongully's ghost writer writes lies - Gongully

'Gongully Ghost Writer Writes Lies, It didn't come from me - I was fielding all day - see!'

In an extra ordinary turn of events, Sour Gongully has laid blame at the feet of his ghost writer for writing false comments in the local Bengal Daily - Dina Amba. In an extra ordinary statement, the ghost writer claims that some players have scored less runs than wadrobe changes and different hair styles. Of course, the one player that comes to mind with hair style changes is MS Dhoni (Runner up to Miss India 2005, 2006 - beaten by Ms Ladyboy of Mumbai dustbins twice). Ms Dhoni has had more hair style changes than Preety Sita has had dress changes in a bollywood film. Even the great moustache of Pakistan, General Perves Moustachuff has been quoted as saying

"I like Dhoni's hair long, it reminds me of something we don't see often in Pakistan."

Gongully's ghost writer went on to say that Gongully was always the victim of the board of selectors because he had a face that only his amma could love. (We at fly slip believe the identity of the ghost writer to be Gongully's mother - Mrs Eladenagully.) The Ghostwriter also went on about how the Prince of Kolkatta once had a kingdom that stretched the whole of one bedroom in a upper class home. We believe that his title 'Prince' was given to him by his amma, usually saying things like:

"Its time for the prince to put his blocks away and go to bed."

Meanwhile another ghostwriter has written an article on the behalf of MS Dhoni in a publication known as the PTB Kalasatahana, refuting the statements writing by the other ghost.

"Its obvious that Gongully and his ghost are jealous for my good looks and femanine beauty."

The article read. Its obvious lies because anything put out by the PTB is usually outdated by the time its publicated and wrong.
While we at fly slip were reading the kalasatahana, and missing our train at the same time, one of our reporters handed us a paper from Lord Pawar's ghost writer, stating that Gongully will be axed after the 2nd tests.

With all these ghosts on the loose, there is only one team to turn to solve all our problems *cues bad music*

GHOST BUSTERS

Sri Lankan Cricket Bail out.

We are living in very uncertain times these days, with the great financial coperations of the world like Fanny Mae and Freddie Mac (No, they weren't husband and wife) falling victim of the credit crisis that is gripping the world. It was only a matter of time for this to effect the cricket, especially when there is cricket boards ran by sport ministers of the likes of Geminai Punchige. Yes, No only is the Geminai possibly the worst car General Motors have produced but its also the worst sports minster to ever grace the position of Commander-In-Cheif of a cricket board.

Geminai last tactic to avert a finicial crisis at the Sri lankan's cricket team was to over rule his twin (All Geminai's have twins) Cheif Jester and Joker, Ashantha De Mel and to put Sanath Jayasuriya back into the team, of which was a complete failure and waste of time.

Has history ever known a poor pathetic man? Even the much reviled Don Juan Dhammapala has never sunk to the depths of Geminai latest act - to go cap in hand and beg at the feet of the Indian cricket board.

Hard Work: Gemini Punchige and Asantha bail out the SLCB with Indian Money

Now, with the Indian administration providing money to the Sri Lankan cricket board, $70 Million to be exact, complete with strings - Any tour that Sri Lanka plans now must meet the Indian cricket board's approval basically - as well as any votes at ICC functions.

So what happened to all the money and takings from the matches over the last 10 years? Well If you were to take out money for Arjuna's Buriyani allowance (ABA), bribes to the SLPF / JHU / JVP / LTTE etc and Geminai's many unsolicited, unfinanced, non termed loans (also known as embezzlement) - then we have an understanding of what has occurred to the money.

Rather than give over to the BCCI, they should of put more pressure on the SL goverment (Hell, Basil doesn't need all those cars) to give them more money. Failing that they could always send the police comminiser or Meryn to "collect" needed funds for the Sri Lankan cricket board.

Stand by for an invasions of rats after Geminai's latest interference.

One can expect Geminai's next act will be to sell the Sri Lankan team at auction, and it may actually be his first ever good deed - because Sri Lankan cricket may actually be ran correctly and properly for once. Richard Branson, if you are reading, please do something to save us all.

We, as part of our cricket coverage will also be reporting on the BCCI stock exchange for the Sri Lankan Cricket Board which will be floated at about 2 ruppees a share... Invest while you can... and Shame on you Punchi Geminai.

flyslip goes on holiday

Yes, I know you are sad. I can see your faces, in dismay. But a flyslips gotta do what a flyslip must.

Fear not, I will be back soon. Just like Nice Bryce.

I leave you in the trusty hands of my somewhat deranged friend, Nathi Wunu Kolla (The Lost Boy), an Aussie by origin but we have serious doubts about that as the flyslip is yet to meet an Aussie who speaks Sinhalese, Malay and Tamil with equal fluency.

Enjoy the test matches, 2020s, ODIs and your back yard games while I'm away.

See you soon.

God speed.

Canada cup- the reply

Im wating for the bowler to run in. Then I realise my streams stuck again.

Mahela Udawatte, new gun, in with Dilshan. What the fuck.

Sanaths listed on the cricinfo team sheet. My mate tells me its wrong. Go figure.

18-0. This is too easy.

Udwatte tries a leg glance, hits the edge and goes to the off side.

I feel bored. I know whats going to happen. Zimbabwe arent going to trouble us.

Why bother to bring these guys here. Playing at 10 degrees for nothing.

Udawatte hits a huge shot over the covers for four. Gets so excited and tries the same next ball with one hand. Goes no where.

32 on the board with no effort. That is from Dilshan. Udawattes got 25 of that. Dilshan being lazy.

DROPPED ! Tough chance at third man , grassed. Dilshan plays maybe 2 good shots and one of them is the pull. Which he edges and went up in the air.

Elton Chikimbura comes on. Whoa I know a Zimbabwe cricketer. Flyslip is proud.

Udwatte tries the one handed hoik over covers again. And gets out. What stupidity.
What the fuck kind of shot is that. I am not amused. Spoils the 10 wicket victory.

Useless.

46-1

I dont like Dilshan, hes clearly out of form and should not be in the team. He snuck in under teh 'Sanga is not here so we need a fringe keeper' rule. He looks all at sea these days. Not pretty at all.

Prosper Utseya in. Lets see if he lives up to his name.

Sitter dropped. Its Official, Zimbabwe suck.

New boy Kulathunge skies one and gets out. Im not stuffed. 2020 does not a player make.

Flyslips own Thilina Kandamby comes out. And gets run out by that useless git Dilshan .
Thats some bullshit right there

That bit of excitment was short lived.

Holy FUCK. Dilshan runs out Mahela as well. Blood blood, I want Dilshand blood. Hang him by the balls and peel out his nipples. Poke his eyes, pull out his nails. Just fuck off.

King Kapu walks in. Remember Chamara Kapugera. Flyslip expects big things for the lad in a few years. We reckon he is of the class of Mahela.

30 from 26.

Dilshan gets out. Bowled. Serves you right you fuckwit.

Maharoof in. Lets finish this off. Show him how its done son.

Supermassive 6 from King Kapu. Brilliant. Lovely hit off the spinner to long off.

24 off 24

11 from 14. Few hits here and there and we look well on course now.

9/11

King Kapu to hit a 6 for the win. flyslip predicts. 9/9 !!

Maharoof to cow corner. 2.

MahaROOF! Massive 6 over long on. Superb shot sir.

1 off 7.

Oh the joys of 2020.

Miss hit pull, SL win !! Fuck yea.

Flyslip, over and out!

Canada cup- LIVE!

Flyslip manages to track down an online link to the game, as with all games played in Canada the coverage is exceptional.

Ok, Zimbabwe currently going at 56-3, some random black dudes on strike. Looks like I logged in at the right time as Splendid Mendis comes on.

First ball, confusion, did that spin left or right, Im not sure. No one is. Switch hit, missed. Mendis all over the Zimbies.

4 balls, all missed. The look on the batsmen in priceless.

The info bar at the bottom tells me the maximum number of overs is 17, there was a bit of rain around it seems.


GONE! Mendis strikes with his last ball. Playing the outside off line , ball hits leg stump.

New chap, Dilhara Lokuhettige comes on. 2020 Specialist. All rounder, for the non wise. Plays for a club called Moors back home. Bowls some handy Medium pacers.

Splendid back on, more confusion follows. This guy is genius. And he's hit for a boundary.

77-5 Mendis strikes again, cought behind, easy as you like. Some of these Zimbabwe techniques are appaling.

Fair crowd in, people tell me there is a big Sri Lankan community in Canada, I believe them.

The best technique shown is for the switch hit, but they dont connect, so whatever.

Vass no2, aka Thilan Thushara runs in. Gets hit for 4. Zim 82-6.

Ground looks okay, for a Canadian venue.

Hussey plays a forward defensive, my stream is buffering so Im watching Ind v Aus H/Ls.

Streams back on.
Huge cow corner hit. Takes the edge, trickles to short third.

2 overs left to go. Mark Nicolous mentions Mendis as one of the best young players in the world.

Something happens to the stream and everything I watched rewinds in fast mode.

Maharoof runs, and gets stuck. Not literally, but its my stream see. So he is stuck in a weird posistion. Looks like hes looking at his finger and meditating.

Streams back, wickets gone, no fucking Idea what happened.Oh a replay. Its Splendid, this time stumped.

Big hit!!! In the air, out. Mendis has 4
This is slaughter. 97-8.

Sanath will score this in like 3 overs or something..

Last over coming up. RR is 6 something. Useless.

Dilhara Fernando has the ball. His hair looks dodgy. Cross between Saibaba and and an Afro.

100 up, 104-8.

All over 106-8. Easy as.

Should be a peach for the Lions.

Stay tuned. Ill report on the reply if my stream holds.

Canada cup- it is upon us!

The series is now officially on Cricinfo.

While the Canadian immigration officers were distracted by New Zealands record breaking performance, the Zimbabwe team got past their border.

Shoaib got his Visa, MoYo dint.

Of course there was a selection saga in Pakistan and somebody resigned because the PCB picked something like 10 openers. Apparently you don’t need so many or something.

So we are ready to play ball. Today.
The excitement is killing me, Don’t deny it, I know you are feeling the same.

After all, this series is going to provide some competitive cricket, Its not like the Final is already a given before a ball is bowled.

In the meantime, Rover, our international correspondent who follows the Sri Lankan team all over the world sent in this snippet from his interview with Splendid Mendis.

Rover: So, Ajantha, what does it feel like to be playing cricket in Canada?
Splendid Mendis: “Mata bohoma seethalay” (I feel very cold) (Mata= I, Bohoma=Very, Seethalay= Cold)

Rover, who doesn’t speak a word of Sinhalese, had to turn to Sri Lankas UN appointed interpreter, Mahela Jayawardene for the translation

MJ:”He says he feels very cool under pressure, And he isn’t afraid of anyone cuz he’s in the Sri Lankan Army”

Rover said he felt that something was lost in translation, we have no reason to doubt him.

For the Canada cup preview go here.

Meanwhile on the otherside of Asia...

NZ are getting their ass handed to them by the Bangers.

The Sheep Lovers were 70 odd for 6 at one stage before Jacob Oram and The Vet took them beyond the 200.

At 75-1 the tigers, not the terrorist type, the cricket playing type, are looking set to humiliate them Kiwis.

At the break Vetorri reported that they will flip the batting order to see if it would prove a better success.

Danny, word to the wise, you are running a one man show, the sooner you realise this the better it is for everyone. Specially you.

The only way you team will be good is if they clone you, 11 times over.

For regular updates check out The Balls.

The most surprising this about all this for me was I knew half the names in the Bang Camp (get it?). I was expecting to see a bunch of unpronounceable new kids I had never heard of on the team sheet.

What happened to the 'rebels' that were hung by their balls?

UPDATE: Bangers have beaten the Kiwis!

Aus v Ind- 1st test preview

It is upon us, through the haze of the hype surrounding the series, the day has finally come.

It looks like the weather might ruin things for all. But if it doesn’t, this is how I see things going down..

Batting
Australia- Strong.
Highly dependant on Hussey and Ponting and Clarke. And there is the problem. I don’t see a big series for Punter, he struggles against spin early on and if India get early wickets they can crowd him and put him under severe pressure. Struggled in the tour game against Chawla. So, the batting will revolve around Hussey and Clarke.

This series will be won in the middle order. But the importance of a good start cannot be under estimated. Hayden and Krab Kattich will need to offer solid starts consistently if Aus are to start a remotely good chance.

India-Potentially deadly
All the hype is around the Fab four and Ganguly right now, so its easy to forget Goutham City Gambir. We shouldn’t. He handeled Mendis and co brilliantly in Sri Lanka. I expect a big series for him

Sehwags a marked man, but as homer grumbled, he can change the game in a session. He did in SL. And that’s the only test India won.

The fab bore, don’t really look threatening to me. But on home soil, with this potentially being their last series, who knows. Its on a knives edge and you can feel it.

Bowling
Australia- One dimensional.
Fuck all the talk about the Australian spinner. I saw Krejza, hes shit. I’ve seen Cam white, hes harmless. Micheal Clarke- If Warne couldn’t . So yeh.

Lee and Stuey lead the charge. This is the first big test for this attack since Mcgrath and Warne left.
Away, with no experience in India. Lee will look to make his mark. Clark will have a belter.

3rd quick , who ever it may be will need to support with solid economical spells while these two dismantle India.

India- Nothing special.
Bajji will be the main threat. Kumble wont make an impact. Aussies have the wood on him. Strong performances from Adams apple and Zaheer might make the difference. Ishants been inconsistent since Australia, so its hard to see early wickets coming on a regular basis for India.

Leadership.
Neither are brilliant leaders. How Ponting uses his bowlers might decide this series.

1st test prediction- Draw, weather looks bad. So we might not get a full 5 days. With both attacks being generally weak this spells draw for me.

Aus v Ind #1 Most likely to loose their balls

The day has ariveth. It is time.

We are about to crown the no1 most likely player(s) to loose their balls in the big BGS starting tomorrow.

But first as with any countdown , a recap.

Coming in at No5 was none other than
Sachin Tendulkar- a healthy dose of elbow knack and being in the middle of a run drought won him the prestigious spot.

At 4 we had
Ricky Ponting- the recently insulted, by Insane Mcgain + Viru Sehwag, with a wondrous average of 12 something in India saw Punter gain this dubious honor.

The top 3 started off with
Rahul Dravid- he of the infamous fab 4, under the cosh, needing runs, we predict he will make none

No2 went to
Anil Kumble- we felt bad about making Punter feel alone, So we added Anil to the list

And now, Drum roll please.

Flyslips 1st EVER No1 player most like to loose his balls is........


The Australian Spinner.

"Worrying times for 3 players, who will it be."

Fireworks, rapturous applause, crowd goes insane, not quite insane mcgain insane but you know the good insane.

Why?
The Aussie spinner (who ever it might be) is useless

Krejzy eyes career might be over before it began

Cam White's Kumble wannabes pies is not gonna scare anyone

M.Clarke- is he a bowler now?

Verdict?

Potentially half a dozen balls lost. Thats a lot a nuts. Wont be pretty.
Who will survive the test of the balls? Only time will tell.


So, There you have it folks. The top 5.
Its been a long road, we laughed, we cried, we made you think about balls and losing them.(We know you enjoyed that bit).

So what say?

Do you agree?

Do you vehemently protest?

Let us know. We might just care what you think. Just might.

Sehwag sends the first volley- "Aussies cheated in Sydney"

"We suffered the most in the catches pact during the last series," Sehwag told ESPN-STAR.

Oooooooooooh, no he dint

"There is no point in having such an arrangement when the Australians are claiming one-bounce catches.

Oooooooooooh, no he dint

"We'd have won the Sydney Test if they hadn't claimed catches off half-volleys in that game."

Whats this Whinging son? Thought you of all people, facing up to the mighty Brett Lee with a new ball would know better than to stir the pot.

The aussies aint gonna be taking to this lightly.

What would posses Sehwag to say this? Only he would know. This is highly unlike the usually pristine Viru we all love.

You're gonna be a marked man. Enjoy the ride. I will.

Canada cup Preview

If you aren’t been careful you might just miss the cricket that’s been played outside India.

The Kiwis have hopped on a plane and landed in Bangladesh for a test series that Daniel Vetorri is trying desperately hard to promote as being ‘tough’.

Really Daniel. Shame on you. Even your mesmeric looks cant help you this time.

You can read more about it here at the balls-ingly brilliant cwb.

There also a little shindig happening in Canada, yes you read that right. Sri Lanka, Pakistan, Canada, Zimbabwe are all gonna be engaged into a 2020 slog fest for a little over 4 days. The importance of this series can be highlighted by the fact that Cricinfo are yet to put it up on their current series list.

Is this an ICC event? I don’t know.

But it has the familiar stench of one. 2 days ahead of the start of the tournament, Things are going a little pear shaped. More on that later.

In the interest of world cricket, and those who care about this series, manic Sri Lankans, cricket starved Pakistanis and of course the starving Zimbabweans, lets see how things could pan out.

Yes, I know. Canada dint get a mention. Lets keep it that way.

Sri Lanka.

Batting- Strong.

Although Scrappa (pronounced PAH) Sanga wont be there cuz he is nursing his bruised limbs.

Old man Sanath to open with comeback man Upul Tharanga.

Middle order looks solid with new addition Thilina Kandamby who has been belting the Seth Africans.

Back from injury is Maharoof, a lot of talk about this young man as being developed into an all rounder for ODIs and 2020. So we’ll be keeping a close eye on him.

Bowling-Solid

Mendis leads the charge with new quick, Thilan Thushara and Dilhara Fernando. Slightly inexperienced as Murali & Vass are taking a breather at home.

Chances- Winner or Runner up .

Pakistan

You were waiting for this weren’t you.

Pakistan are a lot more exciting a team than Sri Lanka.

They got it going on ya hear.

Batting- Strongish.

Moyo might actually make it for this. ICL troubles might be a thing of the past.

Shoaib, Malik is itching all over. For some cricket.

Misbah,Jamshed, Y.Khan spell stronggish to me.

Bowling-Decent

Shoaib, Akthar this time. Could possibly miss this if he doesn’t get his visa. He was in surrey collecting money to pay his 7mil fine so PCB couldn't’t get a hold of his passport in time.

Tanvir adds the spice. Potential for some rocking one on one battles with SL.

Chances: Winner or runner up.

Zimbabwe

Their biggest problem right now is.

Visas.

True story.

Might not make it. They could be replaced all together with another team.

With 3 days to go- that’s a bitchslap if ever there was one.

No one knows who plays cricket for Zimbabwe anymore, much less their 2020 team.

Chances: Might not get any.

Canada

Hosts.

That’s about all the accolades they get.

Their captain was banned from the tournament a few minutes ago for being a bad boy. Giving stiff competition for the Pakistanis on who is the bigger drama-queen.

Chances: None.

Incidentally this series is being played on a ground no ones heard of. Might not even be telecasted according to some. People will be bringing folding chairs , attesting to its proper shindig status.

‘The only thing that sets it apart from a normal ground is a piece of paper stuck to the gate that says ICC’- Thanks Fuddy. True Story.

Aus v Ind - #2 most likely to loose his balls

OMG OMG OMG!

Im so excited to present to you the no2 player

MOST LIKELY TO LOOSE HIS BALLS!

Anil Kumble

"Kumble has lost his balls before"

Why?

Yes, Captains are well known to loose their balls.

Kumble is another who plays under the Brearley/Taylor rule.

He picked up a wicket last in the 1800s.

Thinks the ‘spirit of cricket’ is what a child molesting journo writes about in Australia.

Under stress from Dhoni for the captaincy.

Does weird wicket celebrations which are frankly, a bit gay.

Verdict?

One and a half nuts.

He might save his ass and ball(whats the word for half a nut?), if he wins the series , otherwise young buck Dhoni and his troop of female bodyguards will oust him from his throne

Possibly the last series he will captain if India loose.

Stay tuned as we crown the NO1 PLAYER TO LOOSE HIS BALLS in the BGS!

Now you can mail us

True story.

If you ever loose your balls, Mail us- we'll find them for you.

In the good chance that you miss this post, you can use the link to your right,to mail us about your lost balls or any other thing you'd like.

We will get around to reading it, eventually.

If you send in something interesting, we will feature your emails on the blog it self.

See you on the other side.

The Two Tier System- A review

A year ago we saw the birth of the much debated Premier league tournament. The gist of the structure was that a two- tier system was to be implemented, with the last team in tier A are relegated to the lower tier B and the winner of tier B gets promoted to compete with the creme de le creme of Sri Lankan club cricket.

The league which split up the 20 clubs that currently play cricket in Sri Lanka, was devised to increase the competition between the clubs. Thus ensuring that the standard of the game increased, the gap between club and the intense international game was narrowed and Sri Lanka were well on their way to world domination.

But is it really working?

Last year Tier A was won by unquestionably the dynasty of Sri Lankan club cricket, SSC. There was stiff competition from Moors and Tamil Union but SSC prevailed to win a memorable treble. All the headlines naturally focus on Tier A as most of the best cricketers in the country are playing in that particular league.

In much of the same as Div 2 in the English county game, no one, except the teams playing in the lower league, actually care about the Tier B. Performances are often scuffed upon due to allegations and perceptions of a lower grade of cricket being played.

So then is it fair that only 1 team from the Tier B gets the chance to show their wares in Tier A every year?

Current Tier B champions, Sri Lanka Army, will definitely be upsetting the comfortably numb balance in Tier A this year. They won more games than SSC , they had more points than SSC and looking a major title challenger this year. Led by spin duo, Ajantha Mendis and Seekkuge Prasanna, the Armys strong point is in their bowling. Sadly now it seems that Mendis might miss most of the season due to international engagement. One thing is for certain, the Army boys will be chomping at the bit to have a go at their more prestigious colleagues.

What of the Panadura lads, who pipped at as a healthy runner up in Tier B. Once again with more points than Tier A no2, Moors. It seems almost unfair that a team that did not loose a game the whole season, who have out gunned, at least in terms of points their counter parts in Tier A, and clearly a better side than some of the teams hanging on in Tier A at the bottom, do not get a their chance.

Teams like Bloomfield, Ragama, Nondescript won less games than Panadura yet remain safely in Tier A, and more importantly within the peripheral vision of the selectors. It would come as no surprise that NON of the centrally contracted players for Sri Lanka come from a team outside Tier A. Mendis doesn’t have a central contract as yet. Once he does he might make a move to one of the Tier A teams in case he is forgotten.

So what does it all mean ?

Simple, more teams from Tier B need to get into Tier A.

Will they survive in the deep end? Maybe not.

Do they deserve their shot ? Sure as hell they do. Without a question.

Ideally at least 2 teams should get relegated or promoted. Maybe even 3 with a play off scenario. That is to say the 3^rd and 4^th from bottom in Tier A enter a end of season play off. The loser gets relegated. Winner stays on.

Similarly the 3^rd and 4^th teams in Tier B enter a play off. I suspect you can do the math from there.

This would ensure that Tier B teams would get a prime opportunity to engage in some real cricket, that people and selectors care about. The standard of Tier A will improve. The gap we talked about earlier will reduce.

Beyond the blue

Cricket Season arrives in Australia...

Australia the land of great cricket talent has a strange obession with oval shaped balls, players wearing tight shorts and poles (not the people) stuck in the ground. Its during this time, that the cricket supporter stares wistfully into the space (usually a rugger's head got plenty of space) and counts the cracks in the sealing or walls.

The old willow is gathering dust in some forgotten corner, the whites have got grey moudly blotches and the bag is home to a tribe of spiders. Then with a suddenness, a fine october morning calls and a mad panic is created as the aforementioned character cusses himself for falling for the same trap year after the year after year.

The first training season of the session is always very hard, excess fat has gathered around the mid regions and muscles, long forgotten, are requested to make a sharp appearance at the instanteous bidding. Usually season ending injuries at this point in time and one needs to take time and patience to build up for the first match.

Meaning while, the cricket yobbo, wakes from his football induced hang over and finds the next event he can be drunk at and yell obsenities at. He practices his no ball chant, his charming wit and his beer consumption methodically every weekend in preparation for the main event - boxing day test match.

And while all these events are taking place, the fields are being freshly mowed, ladies are out preparing buscuits and short eats and the food vendors are putting in large orders from everything from buriyani to hotdogs and chips..

As the linseed oil smell wafts from suburb to suburb, so does the smell of the new cricket season... Viva la cricket ... Its here at last.

The Brad Haddin Injury.

So I'm guessing he is alright?

Gilly's shadow took a blow to his tender fingers and was escorted off yesterday.

Australia claimed he was Ok, while The Huss took up the gloves. Proving to one and all he is truly Mr.Cricket.

This could prove to be disastrous if Haddin gets a knock on the fingers during the test, when you consider he is ONLY keeper on tour. Smart thinking by CA again.

ICL v IPL - coming soon to a theater near you

The bearded one, not Dirty Dirk, but the rotund one with a dodgy knee is of the opinion that the best way to find out which league, ICL or IPL, is better is to get the best teams from both leagues together for a play off.

There is only one thing wrong all this.

I dont care for either league to begin with.

And even less about which league is better.

Not a fan of the whole twentybenty business and never will be.

However, the craziest thing about the whole idea is, Its fucking brilliant. innit The interest level in India and around the world about the ICL 'rebel' league and the IPL is currently astronomical.

The money that such a series would generate is undeniable.

Whats even more brilliant, but less likely to happen is that, in the long run, just maybe the ICL and IPL will bat eyes for each other.

Stop smirking, Hell I said its unlikely dint I!

Aus v Ind #3 Most likely to loose his balls

Its getting exciting now aint it.

At no3

Rahul Dravid

"So old he cant even stand up straight"


Why?
-He was part of the Big4 before WG was born.

-Only in the team as part of the Brearley/Taylor rule.(Thank you Jrod)

-Runs are something he used to do

-Me thinks he squints his eyes cuz he cant see no more.

Verdict?


Dravids so old that we are not sure if he still has any balls.

If he does, he will loose both and then some.

Will be the last series he ever plays.

Board XI v Aus Day 2 HLs + A special for Suave

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

And this one is a flyslip special for my friend, Suave

Mendis for County ?

The scrap is on.

There are rumors abound that the English counties are targeting our young spin maestro Splendid Mendis (that has now been officially patented by flyslip!)

Flyslips quite excited about the whole thing. Its not often that young Sri Lankans are spotted by the counties. The most notable players in the English domestic game have always been the big names from the island.

Sanath

Murali

Sangakkara

Aravinda.

Them be some really big names.

This is a wonderful opportunity for Splendid Mendis,(doesn’t it just roll off the tongue). Its also a sign of just how big an impact he has made in the world game in his very short career.

I have always felt that Mendis needs to develop stock ball.

Warne had his leggie.

Murali has his big spinning offie.

Mendis bowls about 6 or 7 different variations in an over. But in the long run whats going to bag you most of your wickets is your stock ball. Even if it does not directly get you the wicket, the stock ball will ensure your variations are that much more dangerous. The county game, depending on how long he gets to play, will offer him a great chance to do just this.

But where will he go ?

Most Likely

The most likely scenario is that Splendid Mendis will go to Lancashire because of the Murali tie -in.

I'm sure Murali, he of the goggle eyes, will have plenty of nice things to say about the county. Including yarns about every ones favorite man- Freddy.

My Pick

Personally Id like to see him move to Sussex. I quite like the idea of Mendis trying to fill the 1800+ wickets hole that Mushy has left there. Sussex do have Ollie Rayner to who has been under the astute apprenticeship of the bearded one. So it will be interesting to see what approach they take.

Wild Card

Durham - who might want to mix things up next year as their attack is pace heavy. With Paul Wiseman reaching a 153 years of age next year and proving to be highly ineffective with 16 wickets to his name, Mendis might slot in well for the reining Division 1 Champions.

Verdict

What ever county he goes to, its a guaranteed investment.

Considering how the Englishmen went against Murali during his stint, Mendis will eat the English men alive and spit them out for good measure.